If Only I Had A Crystal Ball….
Tonight, as I am sitting here contemplating whether or not to eat dinner, I fed The Tribe left overs earlier, I am pondering a plethora of things. Oh dingity dang, what is wrong with my brain that I wonder such questions?
1. Why is my middle boy dog licking my oldest girl dog’s “ghina”?
2. Why does my husband talk in a high pitched, twangy ass voice when imitating one of our dogs (does he know dogs don’t talk)?
3. Why was school cancelled today for 2 inches of snow?
4. Why do my kids get a kick out of Mrs. Crazy, Mean Mommy?
5. Why does The Babe pee while standing in front of the toilet (her little ass is 2 inches away from the toilet)?
6. Why does the circus cost $200 for a family of 5 (thats right, 200 freakin’ dollars)?
7. Why did the cleaning lady that I fired yesterday leave me 2 phone messages to call her today (oh hell no)?
8. Why does M3 make a, “your so damn gross and disgusting, I can’t believe your my mommy face”, every morning while I am getting dressed?
9. Why does “together” time last less than 15 minutes (remember the days…)?
10. Why is my nephew obsessed with my “down there” hair (he came in the bathroom while I was tinkling last week, and I am a red head, he is scarred for life)?
And finally….
10. Why don’t I have a prescription for Xanax?
