Mental Note To Self: Shower By Self!!!!!
M3: “Why is your butt so big, I can play on it like a drum, boom, boom, boom. It has dimples like sissy’s cheeks?”
The Babe: “Oooh, your ghina is yucky, why dere hair like dat? It is naaaasssty.”
M3: (staring at the ol’ taters) “Why are your nipplees so big, they look like pepperoni, but pinker. I didn’t eat out of them, right? They are nasty.” (making a face of total disgust)
Yeah, you guessed it, we all jumped in the shower this AM. My lazy ass didn’t give them a bath last night. I love the fact that I have turned into this gross, appalling science experiment. You know, I would love to tell those little snot faces that mommy was a division 1 athlete and used to have a strong, muscular, athletic body, but they would just stare at me is disbelief. It is kinda like when they look at our wedding album and say, “Mommy, you used to be sooo pretty”. Little bitch asses!!
At least M3 told me I had pretty hair, like a princess!!!!! LOL!
March 13th, 2007 at 9:12 am
Ah shoot Kendra! I feel bad that your last two posts have put a smile on my face at your husband’s and your expense. I can’t let my kids see me naked anymore. To be honest, I just don’t want to have to answer any questions my oldest might have. And Jacob? He’s getting too old to see me in the buff. And Bridget? She just goes ape-shit whenever she sees a boob, although I have recently learned it is any boob, and not just mine. I’m frequently told my butt is too big and jiggly - what the hey? I weigh a whoppin’ 114 pounds! I guess there’s nothing more disgusting that flab on an otherwise skinny person’s body. To top it all off, I am so white and pasty it’s blinding!
March 13th, 2007 at 10:46 am
To Melissa: My body is blinding as well, it would burn your eyes, a kid at the library asked why my lgs were that color this AM, I had capri’s on, 75 degrees, yeah
March 13th, 2007 at 10:54 am
Kendra, I love you. You’re blogs are so freaking hysterical. I still think we are long lost twins. I swear we have the same life!
March 13th, 2007 at 11:10 am
Allison:
sad isn’t it, at least we can commiserate together!!! Haha.
March 13th, 2007 at 2:56 pm
So you’re feeling all BEAUTIFUL today, eh?
March 13th, 2007 at 10:42 pm
Haha! I took my 2 1/2 year old nephew to his swimming class this morning, and let me tell you, that just shows how much I love him. I wouldn’t subject the rest of the YMCA to this body in a bathing suit otherwise!
March 14th, 2007 at 8:14 am
Sad, but true from this house as well. Sigh.
March 14th, 2007 at 8:43 am
To all you that painted me pictures with stories after this one, thanks. From one,” pale, gross, oh you are not my mommy” to another, rock on, we earned these mommy bods and damn it I am gonna flaunt mine tonight, watch out Big Guy!!!