Ah, poopy paradise was a hell of a good time once again. Even with my ding dang purple hair. We had a good line up for playing hard ball. It was one of those days where you would usually hold your pee for 4 hours. I say usually due to the fact that I had the poops all day and frequented the porcelain bowl, thanks Bug Guy.

The cottin’ pickin’ chief was running the joint, and what a fine job she did regardless of eyeing a certain doctor up in very inappropriate ways, she is a bad girl! Even during CPR, I would bet the farm that she could still toss her hair in his direction with a smile on her face. Trixie was in action. She always keeps it real by keeping Head Man Toucan Sam under control. That would be our illustrious leader. I swear when he sashays down the hall, all you see is a beak and white cape, ie. long jacket, following him. Beautiful site.

Thank the sweet lord that Suddenly Susan worked with me all day. What a group I had. 90 years old and wants to know where his sex pill is. The hell if I know, I thought that thing was dead by now. It was a hard one to turn down, “You wanna get up on my noodle and I will spin you around”? Dirty old man. Haha. I didn’t get to work with The Fashionista but she was there. And as always, she was looking fine! Even with scrubs, she had herself some bling around her neck. I yearn to be stylish like that.

There was RN Quinn The Medicine Women, Greg Focker, Mr. Chaps RN, The Ghost Whisperer, Mrs. Biatch, and finally The Newbie. Bad day for most of us. Bumble was there with her sarcastic wit which made for some laughs. There was a lot of shit, mucous, drainage and as always annoying ass families. Good God, why do they act like they are the only ones on the face of the earth. “Do you know how sick my daddy is, he has a heart condition?” “Well, yes I do, it is a hospital, he is on a cardiac floor and the mother fudrucker tried to bite, hit, kick and stab me with a straw, but hell yes I will jump at his every whim, Mrs. Realistic.” Now, I would never say that out loud, but are these flippin’ people out to lunch?

I propose a question, how can you put a catheter in, dress a foot, wipe shit from a butt, get a new cup of water, give a pain pill, rearrange a pillow and draw blood all at the same time? If anyone knows, please clue me in! Yeah, that patient was a treat. And by the way, I know preschool teaches please and thank you, but I am only to assume that it is a new lesson. LOL!

And my favorite thing is when you get asked questions that are so blatantly obvious you want to laugh, but you must act concerned and thoughtful. Now I know many of you can not relate directly to this, and probably think I am Nurse Ratchet, but sometimes it is all too frustrating and overwhelming. I do care for my patients, I treat them like I would expect my parents or grand parents to be taken care of. However, sometimes, “come on”! “If you do CPR will you break any ribs. If you shock her and do CPR on her chest, but don’t put a tube down her throat, will she breath,. When do you think she will die, like tonight or in the next week?” Are you kidding? I am not God, nor a fortune teller. I want to ask if this is inconveniencing them, or if they have some where to be.

You know, at the end it is scary and having someone to hold your hand, I can just suppose due to frequenting it, would be nice. We should all know what we want in that situation and make sure your family does. Finally, don’t ask us nurses questions you don’t want answered. We are more likely to tell you the truth. If you want smoke blown up your ass, find a doctor and ask them.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 16th, 2007 at 7:47 pm and is filed under The Big Guy, Nursing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.