Gaga For Lulu

Well it’s been a while. We have been at the beach since Friday. The weather rocks and my diddy doo, aka M3, aka Sydney Claire is 5! Her birthday was Sunday and we celebrated in style.

She picked Outback for dinner and Maggie Moo’s for desert. OMG, it was too freakin’ good. Then we went shopping at the outlets, which is always so flippin’ fun.

Yeah, The Babe had to visit the bathroom 5 times and screamed about her ‘ghina’ itching, sand in the ol’ crack. The Boss and M3 took each other down in the middle of The Children’s Place over a sparkly headband and The Big Guy was shopping away oblivious to the situations at hand, but he was happy which is too ding dang cute. By the way, I am so in love with him. I am a lucky women!

So yup it has been a hell of a good time. The Big Guy has been smoking his cigars, which only happens once in a blue moon, and has left him mighty relaxed. That has provided me with some good lovin’! Haha, I’m naughty :p!

I will be back in full swing come Thursday. For now I must be forced to sit in the sun and frolic in the great Atlantic with the kids while getting loved on by the hot ass love of my life. Oh hell, life is sooo tough sometimes, hee hee.

I have to bitch about this one! I live in Maryland, which I absoltely love. 4 seasons… winter snow, spring delight, summers at the beach and falls hiking the trails among changing leaves. We live 2 miles from the Chesapeake Bay and 40 miles from the mountains. It really is the best of all worlds. But… the price of living around these parts is freakin’ crazy!

Come the hell on. How much do you pay for electric in your house every month? We have a little thing called BGE, Baltimore Gas and Electric. Oh… my… goodness. Now, I know it is not all their fault and they have to keep up with market rates, but help a sister out here. We are about to get another rate hike on June 1st, 50%. This is after the already existing 15%.

So, in order for my lil’ family to have power in our house we have to fork over approximately $500 a month. That is now, not after June 1st which will become $750 a month, before factoring in the pool. Call me crazy. Call me a complainer. Hell, call me whatever the hell you want, but that is a heck of a lot of money. Don’t even get me started on our city water and taxes going up 25%…

How are you suppose to keep up with that? It adds up, you know? I am just pissed because they just finalized the deal a day ago or so, and I will get over it with time and stop my belly aching, but good god ya’all. And you know what I remembered while writing this? There was a guy out there that did this whole, no more complaining thing and I think I signed his petition. Ugh…I am really not doing to well, am I? Oh well, you win some and you lose some! LOL.

I have a question for all you out there? When do you have your, err… “together time”. I mean, seriously. I am so flippin tired after getting the kids to bed, ready for the next day, finishing work on the computer and wrapping up anything else that I need to that I am hardly in the bow chicka bow bow mood. I try, I want to, believe me I think about it, but my body just doesn’t get in that horizontal hokie pokie position. Ugh!!!

Now, I have taken this poll at work, at preschool pick up and on the phone with many of my friends, yeah, they know I am crazy, and I have gotten some funny responses. I have frequented the meet me in the closet or bathroom while the kids are watching a movie downstairs, like so many others that I have spoken to, but I have never done the AM sexy time. Come on people, when the hell do you get up?

Cripe, we are already up at the butt crack of dawn! And how can you be all “love me long time” when the kids will be scooting down the hall any second, not to mention your funky ass breath, boogies in the eyes and puffy ass face. Just not for me.

So…. when am I suppose to get it on? I lovvveeee The Big Guy to death, think he is the most handsome, sexy eyed man in the world. Not to mention my love for his junk in the trunk and…. “focus Kendra”, but I am having issues with getting my body in motion. I think about it during the day, visualize it, wish he could come home at lunch then 10 PM hits and goodnight sweetheart.

I am looking for guidance from you sexy, queen of the hot and steamy, va va voom ladies out there. What to do? When to do it? LOL!

So, I am going to do something that I have never done before. I am going to mix business with pleasure. You all know I write for b5media on 2 sites, Diabetes Notes and A Hearty Life, and serve as the Science and Health Channel editor, so I am going to share with you an interesting newsletter that Darren Rowse sent us this AM as our Tuesday Training. He wrote about SEO techniques and tips, as well as the importance of knowing what and who your readers are. You have to know what traffic comes to your site if you want to increase the hits, pageviews, exposure, readers and ultimately $$$ of your blog.

Now, I know that a lot of you are not out there to make a buck, but it is very interesting reading, even if you just pass it along to someone that could use the ideas. I have no ads on my Gaga site and make no money off of it, but I do need to know the basics of SEO on a professional level for my other blogs and job duties. Tell me what you think? Do you have any SEO secrets that you want to share?

Below are the highlights that I thought were worth mentioning…

Ideally Speaking - The best inbound links have three main qualities to them:

1. they are from higher ranked sites than your own

2. they are relevant to the topic you are writing about

3. they link to you using relevant keywords to your page

 

This will do two things for you:

• it’ll help your search engine ranking over time
• it’ll help you bring direct traffic from the other sites that link to you

Guest Post on Someone’s Blog

One great way to get incoming links is to get yourself a guest posting job on someone else’s blog. Keep an eye out for when bloggers in your niche are going to take a vacation and when they do offer to write some posts for them. The general rule when you guest post is that you get a little link in your byline.

 

via Tuesday’s training with Darren, b5media

Why do some women like to pull each other down instead of lifting each other up? I am one of those people that tries to understand everyone, even if they offer the most extreme opinions and lifestyles from my own, I am open to their thoughts and ways. I may not agree and I may offer my 2 cents when it is not welcome occasionaly, but I do make an effort. I guess some women just don’t have that in them, that nice gene.

So I was at Poopy Paradise last night, the ol’ nightshift, 7PM till 7AM. The night was pretty good, I worked with nurses I don’t usually see on a regular basis. The weekend option crew, but good patients, some real sickies that kept me on my toes and made me use my noggin.

But come the shit on! What is up with bitchiness?

I felt like the biggest, ignorant, non competent, horrible mommy on earth. According to the rest of my fellow nurses, my mothering style must be jack shit. My kids know the words vagina and penis, and my kids know that a baby comes out the ol’ shoot, and they listen to music, and they watch television, and they see me naked, and the know what a four letter word sounds like, and they have seen me cry, and they have seen me rant and scream, but they have also seen me seen me love them to death for how ever long they have been here with us, and kiss them constantly, and tell them I love you all day long, and play with them, and read to them, and do anything and everything to make them as happy as possible. So does that make me a crappy ass mommy? Hmm, I don’t think so!

But according to the population of nurses I worked with last night, I am just too open, honest, and forthcoming with my kids. I am making them grow up too fast and allowing them to “know” too much! Yeah, guess what? My girls will be just fine. The Big Guy and I give love 24 hours a day and may not be perfect, but do the best we can. The only thing that matters to us on a consistent basis is the happiness, joy and health of our 3 girls.

So, when I think about it, I guess we are guilty of talking about our girls too much, and spending too much time with our family, and providing too many happy memories, and providing too many toys and books, and ultimately loving them way too much. How dare we do that to these little girls? The nerve of us.

Bottom line, ya’all who like to judge and piss on others parades, be gone! I don’t have time to defend my parenting styles and explain my house and how it runs, and I don’t have time to smile while you share your unwanted stupid ass opinions! I know, I am a little harsh, but the more I think about it, the more fired up I get, and I will not let that happen on this fine Sunday afternoon.

If everyone would be tolerant of others differences and appreciate what they have in their own lives, instead of making themselves better by pointing out differences, we would all be better off. I listen to pretty much anything anyone has to say, I may not agree, but they could offer something for me to take and put to use in my own life.

I am just as guilty of the next women of being opinionated, but I do try to understand differences and see where everyone may be coming from. After all, we are all different, are wired different, and have weathered differences in our lives, but we all want one common thing, what is best for our kids!

Okay, I am going to paint you a funny, funny, but so lame picture. Did I mention that it is funny? Ugh, here it goes. I can’t believe I am putting this out there. Friday night at our house is so damn exciting. I am soaking in the tub, The Big Guy is cutting his hair with clippers about 12 feet away from me in the same bathroom and The Babe is sitting on the toilet that is 5 feet away from the tub that I am sitting in. Wait, that’s not it. Our wiener dog, Dexie, jumped in the tub with me, so he is sitting on my belly in the tub that I am soaking in next to the kid taking the crap that is across from the guy cutting his hair.

Um huh! Are you freakin’ joking me? Did this really happen? Why is my life so pathetic? Haha :). So yeah, fun times at our house. Funny thing is though, none of us in the bathroom were even paying attention to the other people around us. I was laughing at the dog and decided to shampoo his stinky ass. The Babe was singing High School Musical, yes she is 2 1/2, on the toilet and The Big Guy was concentrating on the hair thing due to the fact that he didn’t have his glasses on and he is blind as a bat without them. I wish I had a picture, well not of me in the tub, but the whole seen.

Funny as hell!!!! Life is hilarious sometimes and I am glad that I can laugh about it today! It was a great day!

Wow, am I in a shitty mood today. I do not even like myself this afternoon. The kids have been really rotten for the last few days, I haven’t been sleeping at night, my joints are aching like I am 80 years old, there is absolutely no sex what so ever going on in our house, I am feeling overwhelmed with juggling 100 duties, I am bloated and the ol’ taters are a size bigger than usual. Come the hell on, my boobs should not have to feel like this, along with the “fake” bloating feeling in my belly area, after a total hysterectomy. Seriously people!

Ugh!!! Not to mention my stupid ass blood sugars are all f’ed up. No one seems to care about that one but me. The Dr’s will fit me in. Yeah, in a month. After I have a big fat heart attack and develop crazy ass complications from uncontrolled sugars. But so be it. I could hardly drive home from Target this afternoon when my blood sugar was…. 459. Shit, shit shit!

It just makes you feel crappy and stupid. I know too much, but can’t fix the problem. I obviously need some new medication. For my diabetes, not my head. Although if you ask The Big Guy right now he will tell you I need that too. He has taken the girls outside to play on the play-set while he fiddles with the pool, because apparently men get to do whatever the shit they want, whenever they want to do it. Uh huh, like come home and take the ever so famous 30 minute crap, then go outside and ponder the pool water, then play with the dogs, then watch tv, then play around on the computer, then take another 30 minute shit, then lay there and snore so loud that I can’t sleep. I told you I was in a bad mood.

But he is outside because, “he doesn’t want to be anywhere near me right now”. Which by the way, makes me feel so loved. He doesn’t understand that I am scared to death about my diabetes and the fact that now I am facing the ol’ insulin, so damn scary, and that I feel like shit and overwhelmed about all that I have going on, not that I hate it. I love all of it, but it is just busy right now. And he said he would help more, and guess what? He isn’t.

I feel a little better now after ranting. Oh boy, what a day! For any of you that made it this far in my over the top bitching and moaning, thanks. At least I got it out of my system. By the way, I even cried the whole time writing so I feel refreshed and able to take some more shit. Yee ha, bring it on baby! Haha :).

I took a little quiz , thanks to Hsien, for shits and giggles…. It was pretty dead on. Give it a go and let me know your results.

You are very perceptive and smart. You are clear and to the point and have a great sense of humor. You are always learning and searching for understanding.

Find out your color at QuizMeme.com!

The mall at dinner time in the very crowded food court…

The Babe sits in her chair and puts her feet up on the table, I gaze in her direction. One second to late, for The Boss and M3 had already seen what I did.

M3: “Ew, Ali has her ghina hangin’ out”

The Boss: “Where is your panties Ali?”

Laughter between the 2 of them while I try to quiet The Tribe down so the freakin’ attention can die down and I can get to the bottom of the situation.

Mommy: “Ali, where are your panties? Look at me, in a quiet voice, what did you do with your panties?”

The Babe: “Put em over there”

Mommy: “Where?”

M3 and The Boss: “Hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!”

The Babe: “Right there (pointing), on the stwoller”

Good God ya’all, the child had hung her crusty, skid mark panties right over the handle of the stroller! Funny as shit, but ever so embarrassing. I love being a mommy!

A very Happy Mother’s Day to ya’all! I hope that each and every one of you are enjoying this big ol’ hallmark holiday, haha. No really, I wish you an enjoyable day. My lil’ Tribe just got back with some new sporty pajamas and perty smelling candles, and very wonderful cards, I’m a sucker for cards. That is of course after my lovely hubby let me sleep till….. 9AM. I love The Big Guy, he is great sometimes, keyword sometimes. LOL!

Have a good one!!!