Gaga For Lulu

I am headed for a breakdown. I can feel it coming. The tears are building up in my eyes, my anger is boiling over and I just want to hide beneath the covers.

The babe has had a fever all stinkn’ day and the only 2 hours she was good was when I had The Boss at swim practice and Mom Mom was sitting with her and M3. M3 has been under my skin all flippin day! She just topped it off by lying right to my very tired face! That really pisses me off.

The Babe is still screaming from an hour ago. OMG, my head is gonna pop. The Boss has just calmed down from a 2 hour melt down following swim over her goggles. And the cherry on top would be The Big Guy. Yeah, that ass!!!!

Apparently he is allowed to be a shit whenever he wants to. Yup, he can just have a bad week, not day, but week. you know because he is only in a golf tournament Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday! Um-huh. And if he wants to sit on the porch for a shitin’ hour than he can. Whatever! All the while, I am getting the kids settled and to bed. Fighting back my feelings and tiredness.

And by the way, maybe him not taking his G.D. medication on a regular basis has a little something to do with it. In my eyes it is irrisponsable and stupid! I have anxiety and deal with very mild depression, so I take the medication that allows me to live life to the fullest and be a better person.

The Big Guy who fights fairly moderate depression, and has for 10 years or so, NEVER takes his depression medication unless I hand it to him personally. Well guess what? I already have 3 kids to worry about, can’t have a 6′6″ 4th. Sorry!!

And if you know what you need to be a better hubby and daddy and have the resources to do it, why the hell don’t you? I know I am a bitchy ass mess right now, but I am so sick of dealing with this. I love him dearly and we have seen each other through some VERY tough times, but I just don’t have the energy to put into this tonight.

God forbid I would say the word medication to him right now, he would blow on that one.

And now I just realized that it is 9 PM and I haven’t eatin’ dinner and I am hungry as shit but I am so snotty from crying that I can’t eat. Well damn!

This entry was posted on Monday, June 11th, 2007 at 8:16 pm and is filed under Family Life, Marsha, The Babe, The Boss, The Big Guy, Opinions and Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.