Gaga For Lulu

You know when your significant other just annoys the living bigeezies out of you?  Uh huh.  That was me yesterday.  The Big Guy was in rare form, I mean really ripe.  I had a 5K yesterday AM, which  guess pissed him off or something.  Because when I came home, OMG, was he an ass!

Screaming and yelling and carrying on.  The kids couldn’t even speak without an outburst from him.  Well, let’s just say the day went downhill from there.  He did get himself together mid afternoon after floating in the pool for a bit.  And thank the sweet lord, because I was gonna put a hurtin’ on him!  Haha.

But you all know what I mean right?  Sometimes you just don’t want to hear their mouths, with all the other commotion going on in the house.  And give me a break, did he really look at me and say these words…

“You don’t understand.  Do you know what they are like?” 

No dipshit, I have no freakin’ idea!!!!!!!  Please!

I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but today while at Target with 2 of my girls and my 2 nephews I received several compliments…

“Do you see them? Look at how well behaved they are!”

“You must be quite the mommy, they are all so well behaved.”

“They are so beautiful, they all look just like you.”- That one made me giggle

“You handle those kids so well. You have such a nice, calm demeanor with them.”

That’s right. I was feeling pretty damn good about my mad mommying skillz. I was basking in the glory until I went to get myself a soda at the eatery area before we left the store….

All hell broke lose. I look over and M3 is playing with the fountain drink dispenser. The Babe is screaming, I mean screaming at the top of her lungs, “my poppppcooorrrnnnn”. And my 2 nephews were pushing each other, kicking each other to the point of tears, and screaming about candy. The moment was lost.

I am not that super duper mommy extraordinaire that I was thinking I was. Now people were shaking their heads. Oh, how fast my bubble was popped. Well shit!!!

We are back from the beach in a wirl wind! We got back on Wednesday evening just in time for the Boss’ swim team’s practice and to unload 3 suitcases and umpteen toys. Of course, the pool was finally ready in our own backyard, only $500 in chemicals, but that is another story, so The Tribe had to take a dip. Bedtime came and went and the alarm went of at a very early 5 AM. I headed to poopy paradise for my weekly fun.

So, now itis Friday AM and M3 graduates from preschool. I am sitting here thinking about the gift I have to go get the teacher by 9 AM and the 24 cupcakes I need to obviously purchase at this time, I am such good planner, LOL! Then we have her birthday party tomorrow, she is finally 5! I forgot to order a cake, so I will be attempting to make a jungle theme cake for the bouncie party that I am sure will be rained out by the horrible storms we are suppose to get tomorrow afternoon since it is a smoldering 95 degrees on June 1st. You gotta love Maryland!

There’s my life in a nutshell. I am such a procastinator sometimes. Hopefully The Tribe didn’t inheret that gene from me, altough The Big Guy isn’t much better, haha. I hope everyone has a great Friday!

I have to bitch about this one! I live in Maryland, which I absoltely love. 4 seasons… winter snow, spring delight, summers at the beach and falls hiking the trails among changing leaves. We live 2 miles from the Chesapeake Bay and 40 miles from the mountains. It really is the best of all worlds. But… the price of living around these parts is freakin’ crazy!

Come the hell on. How much do you pay for electric in your house every month? We have a little thing called BGE, Baltimore Gas and Electric. Oh… my… goodness. Now, I know it is not all their fault and they have to keep up with market rates, but help a sister out here. We are about to get another rate hike on June 1st, 50%. This is after the already existing 15%.

So, in order for my lil’ family to have power in our house we have to fork over approximately $500 a month. That is now, not after June 1st which will become $750 a month, before factoring in the pool. Call me crazy. Call me a complainer. Hell, call me whatever the hell you want, but that is a heck of a lot of money. Don’t even get me started on our city water and taxes going up 25%…

How are you suppose to keep up with that? It adds up, you know? I am just pissed because they just finalized the deal a day ago or so, and I will get over it with time and stop my belly aching, but good god ya’all. And you know what I remembered while writing this? There was a guy out there that did this whole, no more complaining thing and I think I signed his petition. Ugh…I am really not doing to well, am I? Oh well, you win some and you lose some! LOL.

Why do some women like to pull each other down instead of lifting each other up? I am one of those people that tries to understand everyone, even if they offer the most extreme opinions and lifestyles from my own, I am open to their thoughts and ways. I may not agree and I may offer my 2 cents when it is not welcome occasionaly, but I do make an effort. I guess some women just don’t have that in them, that nice gene.

So I was at Poopy Paradise last night, the ol’ nightshift, 7PM till 7AM. The night was pretty good, I worked with nurses I don’t usually see on a regular basis. The weekend option crew, but good patients, some real sickies that kept me on my toes and made me use my noggin.

But come the shit on! What is up with bitchiness?

I felt like the biggest, ignorant, non competent, horrible mommy on earth. According to the rest of my fellow nurses, my mothering style must be jack shit. My kids know the words vagina and penis, and my kids know that a baby comes out the ol’ shoot, and they listen to music, and they watch television, and they see me naked, and the know what a four letter word sounds like, and they have seen me cry, and they have seen me rant and scream, but they have also seen me seen me love them to death for how ever long they have been here with us, and kiss them constantly, and tell them I love you all day long, and play with them, and read to them, and do anything and everything to make them as happy as possible. So does that make me a crappy ass mommy? Hmm, I don’t think so!

But according to the population of nurses I worked with last night, I am just too open, honest, and forthcoming with my kids. I am making them grow up too fast and allowing them to “know” too much! Yeah, guess what? My girls will be just fine. The Big Guy and I give love 24 hours a day and may not be perfect, but do the best we can. The only thing that matters to us on a consistent basis is the happiness, joy and health of our 3 girls.

So, when I think about it, I guess we are guilty of talking about our girls too much, and spending too much time with our family, and providing too many happy memories, and providing too many toys and books, and ultimately loving them way too much. How dare we do that to these little girls? The nerve of us.

Bottom line, ya’all who like to judge and piss on others parades, be gone! I don’t have time to defend my parenting styles and explain my house and how it runs, and I don’t have time to smile while you share your unwanted stupid ass opinions! I know, I am a little harsh, but the more I think about it, the more fired up I get, and I will not let that happen on this fine Sunday afternoon.

If everyone would be tolerant of others differences and appreciate what they have in their own lives, instead of making themselves better by pointing out differences, we would all be better off. I listen to pretty much anything anyone has to say, I may not agree, but they could offer something for me to take and put to use in my own life.

I am just as guilty of the next women of being opinionated, but I do try to understand differences and see where everyone may be coming from. After all, we are all different, are wired different, and have weathered differences in our lives, but we all want one common thing, what is best for our kids!

Okay, I am going to paint you a funny, funny, but so lame picture. Did I mention that it is funny? Ugh, here it goes. I can’t believe I am putting this out there. Friday night at our house is so damn exciting. I am soaking in the tub, The Big Guy is cutting his hair with clippers about 12 feet away from me in the same bathroom and The Babe is sitting on the toilet that is 5 feet away from the tub that I am sitting in. Wait, that’s not it. Our wiener dog, Dexie, jumped in the tub with me, so he is sitting on my belly in the tub that I am soaking in next to the kid taking the crap that is across from the guy cutting his hair.

Um huh! Are you freakin’ joking me? Did this really happen? Why is my life so pathetic? Haha :). So yeah, fun times at our house. Funny thing is though, none of us in the bathroom were even paying attention to the other people around us. I was laughing at the dog and decided to shampoo his stinky ass. The Babe was singing High School Musical, yes she is 2 1/2, on the toilet and The Big Guy was concentrating on the hair thing due to the fact that he didn’t have his glasses on and he is blind as a bat without them. I wish I had a picture, well not of me in the tub, but the whole seen.

Funny as hell!!!! Life is hilarious sometimes and I am glad that I can laugh about it today! It was a great day!

Wow, am I in a shitty mood today. I do not even like myself this afternoon. The kids have been really rotten for the last few days, I haven’t been sleeping at night, my joints are aching like I am 80 years old, there is absolutely no sex what so ever going on in our house, I am feeling overwhelmed with juggling 100 duties, I am bloated and the ol’ taters are a size bigger than usual. Come the hell on, my boobs should not have to feel like this, along with the “fake” bloating feeling in my belly area, after a total hysterectomy. Seriously people!

Ugh!!! Not to mention my stupid ass blood sugars are all f’ed up. No one seems to care about that one but me. The Dr’s will fit me in. Yeah, in a month. After I have a big fat heart attack and develop crazy ass complications from uncontrolled sugars. But so be it. I could hardly drive home from Target this afternoon when my blood sugar was…. 459. Shit, shit shit!

It just makes you feel crappy and stupid. I know too much, but can’t fix the problem. I obviously need some new medication. For my diabetes, not my head. Although if you ask The Big Guy right now he will tell you I need that too. He has taken the girls outside to play on the play-set while he fiddles with the pool, because apparently men get to do whatever the shit they want, whenever they want to do it. Uh huh, like come home and take the ever so famous 30 minute crap, then go outside and ponder the pool water, then play with the dogs, then watch tv, then play around on the computer, then take another 30 minute shit, then lay there and snore so loud that I can’t sleep. I told you I was in a bad mood.

But he is outside because, “he doesn’t want to be anywhere near me right now”. Which by the way, makes me feel so loved. He doesn’t understand that I am scared to death about my diabetes and the fact that now I am facing the ol’ insulin, so damn scary, and that I feel like shit and overwhelmed about all that I have going on, not that I hate it. I love all of it, but it is just busy right now. And he said he would help more, and guess what? He isn’t.

I feel a little better now after ranting. Oh boy, what a day! For any of you that made it this far in my over the top bitching and moaning, thanks. At least I got it out of my system. By the way, I even cried the whole time writing so I feel refreshed and able to take some more shit. Yee ha, bring it on baby! Haha :).

The mall at dinner time in the very crowded food court…

The Babe sits in her chair and puts her feet up on the table, I gaze in her direction. One second to late, for The Boss and M3 had already seen what I did.

M3: “Ew, Ali has her ghina hangin’ out”

The Boss: “Where is your panties Ali?”

Laughter between the 2 of them while I try to quiet The Tribe down so the freakin’ attention can die down and I can get to the bottom of the situation.

Mommy: “Ali, where are your panties? Look at me, in a quiet voice, what did you do with your panties?”

The Babe: “Put em over there”

Mommy: “Where?”

M3 and The Boss: “Hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!”

The Babe: “Right there (pointing), on the stwoller”

Good God ya’all, the child had hung her crusty, skid mark panties right over the handle of the stroller! Funny as shit, but ever so embarrassing. I love being a mommy!

A very Happy Mother’s Day to ya’all! I hope that each and every one of you are enjoying this big ol’ hallmark holiday, haha. No really, I wish you an enjoyable day. My lil’ Tribe just got back with some new sporty pajamas and perty smelling candles, and very wonderful cards, I’m a sucker for cards. That is of course after my lovely hubby let me sleep till….. 9AM. I love The Big Guy, he is great sometimes, keyword sometimes. LOL!

Have a good one!!!

So, you wanna know how old I am? Let’s just say that on Saturday night, while at the beach with my 2 good friends from college, we hunted down a Denny’s in the pouring down rain to chow down on some freakin’ pancakes! Uh huh, thats right! Cinco de Mayo and we were living it up with all the 80 and over crowd in OC, Maryland. But damn, were those pancakes good.

The weekend was soooo nice though. I got to hang out with 2 great friends and eat, eat, eat all the relaxing weekend long. Saturday was sunny and 75, perfect for reading and catching some sun on the sandy beach. Just the sound of the waves make you relax immediately.

We had a blast watching all the youngins’, that used to be us, frolic on the beach with each other. I am so glad I don’t have to push out the ol’ taters, suck in the gut and swish the ol’ junk in the trunk anymore. Nope none of that, but we did have a contest to see who’s stretch marks were the worst and who’s belly skin would hang down the farthest when bent over. Yeah, we are so HOT!

In our defense, we did have drinks at lunch and on Saturday afternoon, along with our Candy Kitchen purchase and Combos. Yummmmm! Then of course the whole Denny’s experience. That was the 3rd place we stopped to find our beloved round, buttery, sweet, lil’ pieces of heaven. And of course, Willy had her Razzzaaadanngoooo! (That would be Sprite, mango and raspberry juice)

And we were asleep by…..10:30. Molls snored all night, but I guess I will forgive her. She does have a 2 month old and is very sleep deprived! And we wrapped up the weekend with more food and shopping at the outlets. Very relaxing. It was a nice early Mother’s Day gift.

I must say we are married to some good men! They took care of 7 kids between the 3 of them and didn’t bother us 1 time with any complaints, questions or any others. They just said, “have a good time, enjoy yourselves, I love you and the kids are fine”. Not every man would do that. I know, I totally appreciate The Big Guy for being an awesome daddy and very giving hubby!

And he is kinda cute to top it off. Uh oh, I hear some bow chicka bow bow music playing in my crazy ass head. Oh hell, I am so easily swayed, how pitiful! LOL.