Gaga For Lulu

Our Easter weekend in pictures. My best friend, “aunt Wobs” had a birthday, she turned 30. The Tribe made her a cake. It made for a late, but fun Friday night. The Big Guy took The Tribe to an Easter egg hunt at the country club on Saturday AM.

They had breakfast with the big ol’ bunny. By the way, The Boss told all the kids in line he wasn’t the real bunny, just a helper cause the real one was sooooo busy. Apparently some kids cried, I am happy I wasn’t there for that, I would have felt really bad, and probably peed myself from laughing so shittin’ hard. The Big Guy said he used some recovery skills and made things ok.

Then, as I rambled on above, Saturday was 12 hours in poopy paradise for me. It was an ok day, 1 died, (hospice patient)
but fun fellow nurses to work with.

You want to know the only flippin’ bad thing about working around death? You become a little numb to it. You learn to compartmentalize those feelings and think about it from a physiological point of view. Don’t get me wrong, I am still empathetic and show compassion, but it is forced at times. Oh well, comes with the job I guess!

So, we dyed eggs when I got home last night, had some fun family time and went to sleep. The Easter bunny forgot to do the baskets last night, so The Big Guy was up early this AM getting them set up. Kids found the baskets on the back deck, Easter bunny hopped the fence, haha.

The girls pigged out on freakin’ sugar and have been running around like maniacs. We don’t do a whole lot on Easter, we are going to visit with Mom Mom and Pop Pop for a late lunch, but otherwise lay low. We are all in the basement watching movies, of course they are the same ones we watch over and over…. The Big Guy has all 3 sitting on his lap, they loooovvve their daddy. It is so damn cute!

It is days like this when I feel bad for ever being a damn maniac and yelling at the kids. But you know what? Everyone loses it sometimes and if they say they don’t, they are lying!!! LOL. I think you just have to keep it real and know you are not perfect and we all earn form our own, as well as others mistakes.

So, I guess you all have learned a lot from reading about my crazy ass life! Hee hee hee.

Ok, we are going to have some fun with The Big Guy. Get your minds out of the gutter, not that kinda fun, that will come later. Bow chicka bow….focus Kendra. If you all could see the “I am so not into this you are annoying me, why can’t you ever leave me alone” face he is making right now, you would laugh your asses off. Why? Because I’m going to make him flippin’ play anyway.

“Fine I’ll play your silly game!” Thats all I need, so it’s on. You are about to find out how well The Big Guy and I know each other. Cripe, after 13 years and 3 kids, I hope we get something frickin’ right. LOL!

Me Quizzing Him:

1. What first attracted me to you? Hey, I was 6′6″, her imagination went crazy!

2. Where did we first kiss? In her apartment, on the sweet school-supplied couch, in front of her 13″ TV

3. What is my favorite part of your body? heh heh

4. What is my favorite quality that you possess? my wit :p

5. What makes me happiest in life? Being with family

6. What is my biggest fear? losing someone close

7. Who is my best friend? me! then robs

8. What is my dream vacation? Somewhere very warm on a beach

9. What is my goal in life? to raise a great family and be happy

10. If I had one wish, what would it be? liposuction, just kidding

Answers:

1. Whatever Big Guy, I would say it was eyes, sense of humor and mad kissing skillz!

2. He is right

3. He is one sick mother fuddrucker. I love his eyes!!!!

4. He is confident, self assured and funny as all shit

5. He is good. That is it to the tee.

6. Yes, something happening to my girls.

7. Yup.

8. Damn skippy.

9. He is so on it!

10. Asshole!!! That my kids are always happy and secure in life. (He likes my junk in the trunk, trust me, hee hee)

I guess I should reward him for playing nicely. Oh hell, let me gather strength. Maybe he will settle for a foot rub, but I can see it in his “come and get me” eyes, he thinks he is getting something special. It has been a couple of months, I am afraid my number is up. Shit!!!!! LOL.

Alright ya’ all. We are a little over a 1/3 of the way to our goal number for the gift basket drawing at Babblz. I am excited! I’ve been fired up over the last few weeks every time I have gone to submit a post or story to Digg, or others alike, and found that I just don’t fit anywhere.

Yeah, somewhere for mommy and daddy, or others that write in this avenue, bloggers and readers to submit their work. After all, don’t we put time and thought into our posts as well?

I mean, in the words of Napoleon Dynamite, “goshhhh”.

Also, if anyone is interested in adding a Babblz button to any of their posts to show off how many people have voted for you, copy the code from this file: babblzbutton.txt.

Be proud of your thoughts and keep letting them flow, I have been told I have diarrhea of the mouth, but does that stop me? Hell no!!!!

Also, This is my 40 gazillionth post in the last day or so, so scroll down and check out more interesting thoughts that have flowed from my crazy ass head. LOL!

Oh ,the Joys sent me this list of questions. I did offer in a round about way. Hell I’m not skerd. If anyone is game for a little trivia of their own let me know! I can cook up some good ones.

By the way, check out Oh, the Joys, she is freakin’ hilarious. I sometimes dribble while reading, hey don’t laugh, 3 kids and a hysterectomy will do that to you! LOL.

Here it goes:

How did you meet your significant other and when did you know he/she was THE
ONE?
In college, I was a sophomore and The Big Guy was a lowly ol’ freshman. We both played division 1 ball in college, so I first laid eyes on him when he was drunk and stoned at his baseball initiation. I thought he was disgusting!!! Following fall, we were in some classes together, he cheated off me, we became best friends over a couple of months and va va va voom, realized there was more than friendship. I knew the second we became, how do you say, romantic. The Big Guy was my best friend, knew me inside and out, and could rock my world. Doesn’t get much better!!!

How would you characterize the person you were in high school? In college?

I was unsure of myself in high school. I was an athlete, had many friends, popular, but never really felt like I belonged to one specific crowd. I guess I just hadn’t come in to my own yet. Oh boy, college, I was definitely sure of myself. We had too much fun, I was a very happy go lucky type of person, much less anxious than I am now, but still compulsive about things. We had the cleanest college house of anyone around. Very liked, without giving it much thought.

Tell us about a time in your life when you felt ashamed.

Ooh, tough one. I am going to very honest here. Please don’t judge. After the mess with The Babe, you know hospital for 30 something days, a hell of a lot of surgery and blood transfusions, near death experience, I was hooked on pain pills. It lasted a few months, but I realized 1 day that I wasn’t taking them to do away with pain, but to forget what had just happened and numb myself. I will never forget sitting down with The Big Guy and asking him to help me, I was so embarrassed and ashamed. I thought I was stronger than that. He helped me get through it, I love that man!!

If you could ask a genie to grant you three wishes, what would your wishes be?
(Wishing for more wishes is not allowed.)

1. My kids to be healthy

2. My family to have much happiness

3. Give me the strength I need to get through whatever lies in the flippin’ future.

Do you contest that the National Park Ranger Uniform is the sexiest uniform
there is and, if so, what uniform would, in your opinion, trump that of the
Park Ranger?

Haha. I think a UPS uniform, brown baby, brown. He could ring my bell and deliver his package, hee hee. Or construction, those jeans, with the jacket and hat, yee ha! Something about a man that isn’t afraid to get dirty.

More than a couple of questions popped in my crazy ass head this morning. Where to start, oh boy, oh boy , oh boy!

1. It is the first day of The Tribe’s spring break, so why the hell were they up by 6 AM?

2. Why am I so tired lately? (I am convinced it’s the medicine, but we won’t go there!)

3. Why doesn’t The Big Guy sleep anymore? (I am worried about him, he usually hibernates)

4. Why are the ol’ taters aching so bad? Did I not have the hysterectomy?

5. What is that smell in the fridge?

6. Why is The Boss acting like a pre pubescent tween right now?

7. What is a thirty something old mom suppose to wear? (The mom section sucks, but the teeny bopper section looks like you belong swinging on a pole for dollar bills)

8. Will The Big Guy be able to give me a repeat performance of Saturday night? (I’m praying for this one!!!!! LOL)

So there you have it. My head is all over the place. I am like a flippin’ bouncy ball. Ping, ping, booing! If only my physical self had this much energy!

I do have some exciting news though, the Babblz.com site that the hubs and I started is a third of the way to our target number. Remember, for every 75 names that register, we will give away a smelly nice basket. You even get your choice of flavors! We appreciate everyones support so far, we look forward to getting Babblz.com off the ground.

The Big Guy and I actually went out last night, just us, no kids, in a car, not a minivan! We met with some fellow bloggers that live in our area. Who had a better time? I would say The Big Guy. He got to conversate about advertising, marketing strategies and IT bullshit that I only get 50% of the time.

I finally got to meet Aaron Brazell, technology manager for b5 media, and his wife Nicole. Enjoyed their company. It is always nice when you meet easy going, self assured people. You know, the kind that actually conversate and have something worth while to say. It makes everything so much flippin’ easier!

We also met Greg Gershman from Blogdigger. Nice guy! Listening to them talk, I realized I actually do get this whole blog marketing thing. It is always refreshing to learn new concepts and explore different avenues. It keeps your thinking skills going, you know?

I am definitely out of my comfort zone with some of ths stuff, but that is good. At least that is what The Big Guy says. But what the hell does he know? Haha.

Getting back to last night, it was cool to get out but OMG 12 o’clock is just too late anymore. I know, what a wuss. I’ll admit it, I can’t hang anymore, unless I am working all night (but that is different). I was so piss ass tired driving home. The Big Guy was babbling away in the co-pilot position for the entire drive. He had 5 beers and doesn’t really drink all that much anymore, so he had an earful of nothing to chit chat about. I have no damn clue what he was talking about, I just nodded my head and said, “uhh huh, I know” every few minutes.

Of course, as you can speculate, 5 beers, going out on a “date” and being all geeked up on the IT conversations, he was in a bow chicka bow bow kind of mood. Thats right 12:30 AM and I am expected to perform. Holy shit, I had to pull my energies together and rock his world. LOL!!!!! Anywho 45 minutes later (woo hoo!), we were ready for bed.

So yeah, good night. Got to meet some new people, hang out with my baby and got lucky. It doesn’t get much better! Haha.

Let me start by saying I do not think this is going to be a very good day. The Tribe was up at 5 AM, 2 hours too early, and The Big Guy is in a mood from hell. Not to mention that if I did still get good ol’ flow, I would have her right now (yes, I am one of these ever so lucky women who still “feels” like I get a period after a total hysterectomy, yeah!).

We have an easter egg hunt, only the 18th one this week, that should be balls of fun with these 3 today. I am sure The Big Guy will not attend, he is a little anxious and stressed this AM.

Maybe it’s the lack of sleep. It could be the very long week. Final option, big ass lack of sex. Yeah, I said it. Ms. Let’s Get It On has lost her mojo. I suppose the medicine has something to do with this.

I’m in a pickle, be anxiety free but have no sex drive, or be crazy stressed while lovin’ on The Big Guy. Unfortunately, I think the mental health thing wins!

Like I mentioned above, I am a bit hormonal this AM. A little over the top, and can’t exactly call on Mr. Shitty Yell A’ Lot for assistance. So this is how our last flippin’ conversation went:

(while we are both on separate computers reading through emails and sharing what we discover)

Mommy: “You know what I notice about all the very successful entrepreneur’s in the IT field?”

The Big Guy: “Yes, I know what you are going to say but go ahead. (with a smirk on his face)”

Mommy: “None of then were married to at least 35, or aren’t married at all. They don’t have kids for the most part either. I guess you have to choose!”

The Big Guy: “I have thought about writing on this for a while now, I agree. To be successful as an entrepreneur, you can’t have those worries.”

Mommy: (with tears in her eyes, I told you I was hormonal) “Hmmm, yeah.”

I feel guilty to a certain extent. Am I the reason he is a “family guy”? Did I hold him back? Would he have been able to accomplish more without me and the kids? Would he be happier in life being a successful IT entrepreneur? Who knows what would have come even without me, but I do know being married in your mid 20’s and having kids in your late 20’s adds a big list of “have to’s”.

He had to make a certain amount of money. He had to work 9-6 business hours, if he wanted to see his kids. He had to put many dreams on hold. Basically, he had to grow up.

Maybe it is just the mood I am in, but I wish that we had the resources for The Big Guy to do what he has a true passion for. Believe me, it is not the IT project manager job that he ever so faithfully reports to everyday to pay the bills!! LOL.

He is a good man and I know he would never say any of this out loud. He has never even hinted at any of these frickin’ thoughts, but after 13 years I know him too damn well. I hope that one day I can provide the stability for our family and he can venture out to test his talents and dreams to their fullest. Until then, I will just stomach these feelings of guilt.

Ok, so it was a pretty normal night. We were waiting for the tribe to fall asleep, and the Big Guy and I were working on getting the slide show together for the last post. Well, he decided to open Internet Explorer to view the site. What do you know? The damn site didn’t load right. Why didn’t you Internet Explorer users tell me? It looked like shit!

I set him off on a mission to fix this right away. And this is what he came up with. It’s still a work in progress, but so far I guess I like it. What do you think?

What a jackass!

I am fired up!!!! Pissed as shit. Right here in Maryland today, a child sex abuser that admitted to molesting his daughter for 7 years was sentenced to, ready for this, 4 months. How sick is this world?

The man will also be able to return to his home after his big frickin’ sentence, which means that poor little girl will get to live with this mother fuddrucker again. I am so sick of seeing this kind of punishment. You know what, why don’t we tie his ass up and stick something way up his keaster as he screams no, no, no. Let’s see how he likes it, and then pretend we are deaf when he cries out for help.

So sorry if my rage is offensive to anyone, but the thought of any child being treated like this makes me see red. I am also getting an earful from The Big Guy while I write this. I swear, he would go to jail if anyone ever touched any of our girls. He is throwing 4 letter words around right and left, apparently we are moving out of Maryland due to this.

He is so damn cute sometimes, especially when he is all, “Nobody messes with my girls or wife. You guys mean everything to me”. What a good man!

Here is a link to the article:Capital Online

DoggyMama wrote a funny post about search terms used by readers to stumble upon her site. Flippin’ funny! The Big Guy and I always have a good laugh when we index our site stats to see what was searched to reach my Gaga site. Yes, this is considered our smokin’ hot foreplay. LOL.

First of all, before I write the list, I need to share with you this very big secret, Kendra James is a porn star. To bad that aint me! Yes, I share a name with a very lovely, wholesome, young nasty ass girl who is featured in many XXX films.

Kendra James is apparently a popular name though, many searches for it. There was also a famous police brutality case in California a few years back. The unfortunate girls name was, yes you guessed it, Kendra James. Again, obviously not me, but very busy on the search engines.

Now on to Gaga for Lulu. Damn, even I cringed at some of the search terms. What in the hell do I write about? My kids will think I am more than crazy one day when they peruse through my babbling and rants of what I call writing!

Here we go:

1. penish medicine- I suggest you sterilize with alcohol and put that thing away for a while!

2. redheads and sex- Yes, redheads do everything better and yes, the carpet matches the drapes! Hahaha.

3. MILF- The Big Guy thinks so. Haven’t taken a poll lately, I will get back to you.

4. big butt chest explode- Big butt, check. Chest explode, nope. I have no flippin’ clue what the hell this person was looking for. But I would venture to guess some very wrong pictures. LOL.

5. little nappie girl models- Sick mother fuddrucker!!!!

6. baby has red hair, does it change- What is wrong with a little carrot top?

7. pee nighties- ????

8. belly hurts when going poop- Well then, my advice is, push it on out. Have yourself a good one. I could give you The Big Guy’s number to offer some strategies!

9. did lulu get a nose job?- I don’t know. Does she need one?

10. pee accidents in the car- Not since I was 19 and inebriated out of my mind. I might have eatin’ some mushrooms that went bad that night also. Oh hell, those were the days. We had so much flippin’ fun. (don’t judge, life is short, I am a good girl now though)

11. pabst smir- Not my favorite activity or beer.

and 12. hot moms in keds- No, I don’t own a pair, but I am one hot smokin’ fine ass mamma who likes a little lovin’. Haha.