Gaga For Lulu

OMG, I worked in Poopy Paradise yesterday, aka, the hospital. Ok day over all. I did have a demented crazy that decided to dig in his own crap. Try getting that out from under nails. On top of it, he called me “the devil women” and kicked at us most of the day. He was a real gem!

Thank the sweet lord I worked with a great group of back up singers. The Fashionsta, Reds, Va-va-va-Val, were all in top form. Keepin’ it real is always important when you are playing with the patients for twelve hours.

Well, I did have one patient that made me stop dead in my tracks. Thirty seven years old, no kids, no wife, very nice dying man. OMG, why? Bone cancer, all over his body.

As you all are going through your day wiping asses and snotty noses and listening to screamimg demands from the little ones, just keep this in mind. Oh hell, why do I have to reflect? I know, but sometimes it just hits home.

At breakfast, The Boss and M3 were fighting over chairs. The Babe carried around deli ham insisting everyone wanted to eat some and The Clan were fired up. I thought about losing my crackers, but somehow held back. How did I do it? I started thinking about that big, muscular handsome patient that will never get to experience this very insanity! This is just too ding dang flippin’ real.

The Tribe will be so sick of mommy by dinner time. I am going to hug the shit out of them today!!

Thursday, oh beautiful Thursday. The one day a week I have to myself. I step into my other life.

Nursing.

I love going to work. I enjoy my job. Snot, poop, complaints and even the crazies. I know what you are thinking. “You only work one day a flippin’ week.” Gimme a break, I do raise The tribe the rest of the week. That counts, right?

Today was a good day. Lets see, The Chief served as the leader. We had Dutchie, The Ghost Whisperer, RN Quinn the Medicine Women and Greg Focker on the front line. There was Giggle Pants, Jenny Jones, My Sharona and The Fashionista covering our backs. And as always, The Bumble giving orders. (I hope all my fellow staff have a good time figuring out who you are)

There was minimal vomit. As always, shit, shit and more shit. And one toilet that blew up.

Of course, I took care of one patient that spoke Spanish. I channeled all my Dora the Explorer powers. Come on vamanos, you know that we can do it, so come on lets get to it. Oh, charades for twelve hours can bug the hell out of you. To be brutally honest you can get the shits of anything after twelve hours.

No gross stuff to report.

I just want to remind all of you not to be the demanding, call bell dinging, in your damn face, I want the name of your stupid ass manager type of family member. You see, The more patient you are with us RN’s, the more pleasant your stay will be. I can guarantee it.

Can’t we all just get along?

And let me tell you another hint, please and thank you goes a long way. It is like when these people enter the doors of the hospital they lose any manners their mommies taught them. I want to tell them that even The Babe knows the importance of politeness.

And she eats her own boogies!