Gaga For Lulu

Picture this… The Big Guy, all 6′6″ of him, standing there watching the ladies dance… with each other. Um-huh, with each other and in no way do I mean a friendly be boppin’ kinda way but a bump and grindin’ kind of way!

Yes, The Big Guy and I had a date night on Sunday evening. And where did we go you ask? To one of the number 1, most premiere, oldest nightclub’s around our lovely city… The Hippo. The Hippo??????? Yes that would be a gay bar. We had a flippin blast.

We actually went with another married couple, heterosexual, who we have known for a very long time. We met a bunch of female couples that our friends go to church with. But it was seriously a good time had by all. The music was loud as hell, it was very smoky indeed and the dance floor was rocking. It took me right on back to my younger days!

And I would like to state a fact that in no way did I get up on a speaker and dance my ass off with a transgendered, horribly dressed individual like someone else I know. You know who you are!!!!! Hahahahahaha.

The Big Guy totally got checked out a few times. He just smiled and laughed it off. He is very secure in his “man hood”. Now he didn’t get a drink bought for him like a certain other male person, but thats the breaks. And you know who you are as well! (and now you can cross that off your “to accomplish in life” list).

I would totally go back! But this time I will not wear high heels cause my feet are still aching. GD bunions! I don’t think in his younger years The Big Guy would have gone for it, but he was cool this time around. I think secretly he was hoping to see some young, attractive, tightly dressed lady couples. You know that whole “every man’s dream” thing… I have no idea what he saw but it sure did get me some sweet lovin’, hahahahaha!

You want to know how we just spent our Friday evening? Emptying 45 gallons of water out of our air unit. So damn fun! The Big Guy and I both look like we took a swim. But hell no it is not water, it is sweat. Gross!!!

I so hope that we fixed the issue at hand and will go downstairs to a nice and dry, efficiently running air pump. We are good like that. I am telling you… we really kick ass as a team. He does the research on what the problem is and what will correct the situation while I figure out how to implement the “fixing”.

Oh sweet air conditioning unit, don’t fail us know. It is going to be a code red day tomorrow with a heat index of 108 degrees. Ugh… I am gonna say a prayer to the cool air fairy tonight! By the way, it is safe to say the carpet in the playroom is toast. Yeah, it’s done. Haha.

You wanna know true love? My hubby bought me yeast infection cream and “applicator thingies” (as he says) tonight at the Target pharmacy! Uh huh, apparently he slapped the big ass blue and white box right on up there and said, “hold on, I need to grab something else real quick”. He also brought home a bag of Hershey mini’s. OMG is he the bomb or what?

I guess I have to reward the Big Guy. GD this yeaster. It makes things so much more complicated and I have to put forth effort. Well damn, gonna be a good night for the ol’ Big Guy! Hahaha.

I am in one of those moods. You know all reflective and stuff? The one’s where I get all choked up when I look at my kids and think that they came from me and The Big Guy. This doesn’t happen often, believe me! But I guess I will just go with it.

The Big Guy and I had a bit of a squabble this weekend. He had a birthday golf/poker night outing for one of our friends that we have known since college. That means they played golf during the day then went back to the big ol’ birthday boy’s house for eats and cards. OK, I can deal with a little male bonding and I understand that The Big Guy doesn’t get to go out all that much, not completely my doing by the way! He is a family man and also deals with a little thing called depression, which would explain him wanting to stay home more than going out. HEY BIG GUY, KEEP READING!

So, when he called in with me to let me know that he was back at their house for food and such he had a bit of an attitude which then made me have a ‘tude. At least that is how I see it, hahaha. Instead of listening to what I was saying on the phone he decided to hang up, rush home and get mad at me for something he THOUGHT I was going to say. Yup, I didn’t even say the words, he just “knows me too damn good and knew what I was gonna say”.

Long story short, it turned into a yelling battle where he wasn’t listening to me and I wasn’t listening to him. We ultimately agreed to disagree! It is hard for men. Women can talk on the phone every damn day to their friends, send cards, email each other and only see each other 3 times a year and still feel just as close. Men put so much on physical being. You know, male bonding. Come to think, it is how they are in so many of their relationships, ie. sex. I had to stick that in there. if they are not seeig them and able to pat each other on the back, they think that the other person just isn’t there.

I do think that as men age they struggle with not “having friends”. What they don’t realize is that the friends are still right there and will always be there, our relationships have just evolved and changed into more mature emotional friendships. But I know that The Big Guy has a tough time with that one and it makes me sad to see him upset about this type of thing.

Of course, hind site is 20/20 and I should have handled Saturday very differently. I should have understood that he was so damn excited for this flippin’ bday celebration and told him to take is time and not to worry about what time he came home! Instead I said a bitchy comment on Friday night like, “You better not come walking through that door at no 10 PM”. I can be mean sometimes. I just wouldn’t think of walking out that door and returning 12 hours later, but then again I am a women and we are so different. But live and learn, right? I feel very bad now and wish I could change it, but I can’t. I have been thinking about it today though, remember I am in that mood, and I am thankful that he is who he is!

One thing is for sure, and this is where the sappy ass part of me comes out, I love The Big Guy with all my heart and want him to be happy. He is an incredible daddy, I mean INCREDIBLE, and works his ass off for his family. He helps me around the house, after 13 years of training, and spends all of his free time with the kids. And then he puts up with my ass, which believe it or not isn’t always perfect. I know, no way you say! But it is true. And we have had a tough summer. We have had to weather yet another set back and deal with some tough issues. And he has never once came down on me. He has been supportive, understanding, loving and so ding dang patient!

I know one thing, at the end of the day he will always be there to wrap his arms around me and tell me everything will be just fine and that “All we ever need is right here and down that hall. That is what’s important in life”. I am truly blessed to have found someone like him and to have him as a best friend and a hubby is absolutely wonderful. I am done with my blabbering on now and I will return tomorrow in “normal” form, hahahaha.

So, I’m gonna give you 5 reasons that I feel like putting my head through the wall. And I mean all the way through! Some days really suck…

1. The Babe’s 2nd set of tubes have fallen out and her right eardrum ruptured yesterday, which means I was up from 1 till 5:45 AM and she is a real f’in’ treat today. By the way, this was the 4th night in a row of less than 3 hours of sleep! And she can’t hear shit so she has been screaming all GD day.

2. The Big Guy is on day number 3 of a 4 day stretch of Golf tournaments , which means he is non-existent around the house and when he does get home at night he is, “sooo tired he just wants to go to sleep. Don’t I know how tired it can make you?” Yeah, you dumbass, tell me how tired you are from golf! Wait… and then if I have it correct father’s day is on Sunday. Shit, he has used that right on up already!

3. I have to have yet another operation. Nothing major. Just my 8th left knee surgery, but come on. I was a dumb shit and fell down the steps 2 weeks ago and tore whatever cartilage I have left in that very old arthritic knee, not to mention my MCL (medial collateral ligament). Yee-ha! But the Dr. and I have a deal, no crutches and do what you can with a scope and no more.

4. It is 2 in the afternoon and M3 has been in time out about… 15 times already and there has been 2 blowouts between her and The Boss in the last hour. They are restling over crayons right now in the kitchen. Sad part? I am typing this while listening to them. No mommy of the year yet again!

And Finally

5. I am so hormonal today that I want to cry at everything. The Boss’ last day was today, half day, and I felt like crying because she is done her first year of school. M3 has made me want to cry about 10 times today because she isn’t listening and told me that she would rather have someone else for her mommy, “someone who is fun and nice, like Mom Mom Mary”, that would be my mother in law. Talk about hitting below the belt! And The Babe and I have been up since like Monday, and she still doesn’t feel well. I feel so bad for my little boo boo. She has such a rough time since she was born! Icing on the cake would be that we have to be at a swim meet in the morning by 7AM, which means 5:00 wake up call and very tired children. And where will The Big Guy be you ask? Fu%&*ng golfing!!!!!!

I am headed for a breakdown. I can feel it coming. The tears are building up in my eyes, my anger is boiling over and I just want to hide beneath the covers.

The babe has had a fever all stinkn’ day and the only 2 hours she was good was when I had The Boss at swim practice and Mom Mom was sitting with her and M3. M3 has been under my skin all flippin day! She just topped it off by lying right to my very tired face! That really pisses me off.

The Babe is still screaming from an hour ago. OMG, my head is gonna pop. The Boss has just calmed down from a 2 hour melt down following swim over her goggles. And the cherry on top would be The Big Guy. Yeah, that ass!!!!

Apparently he is allowed to be a shit whenever he wants to. Yup, he can just have a bad week, not day, but week. you know because he is only in a golf tournament Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday! Um-huh. And if he wants to sit on the porch for a shitin’ hour than he can. Whatever! All the while, I am getting the kids settled and to bed. Fighting back my feelings and tiredness.

And by the way, maybe him not taking his G.D. medication on a regular basis has a little something to do with it. In my eyes it is irrisponsable and stupid! I have anxiety and deal with very mild depression, so I take the medication that allows me to live life to the fullest and be a better person.

The Big Guy who fights fairly moderate depression, and has for 10 years or so, NEVER takes his depression medication unless I hand it to him personally. Well guess what? I already have 3 kids to worry about, can’t have a 6′6″ 4th. Sorry!!

And if you know what you need to be a better hubby and daddy and have the resources to do it, why the hell don’t you? I know I am a bitchy ass mess right now, but I am so sick of dealing with this. I love him dearly and we have seen each other through some VERY tough times, but I just don’t have the energy to put into this tonight.

God forbid I would say the word medication to him right now, he would blow on that one.

And now I just realized that it is 9 PM and I haven’t eatin’ dinner and I am hungry as shit but I am so snotty from crying that I can’t eat. Well damn!

You know when your significant other just annoys the living bigeezies out of you?  Uh huh.  That was me yesterday.  The Big Guy was in rare form, I mean really ripe.  I had a 5K yesterday AM, which  guess pissed him off or something.  Because when I came home, OMG, was he an ass!

Screaming and yelling and carrying on.  The kids couldn’t even speak without an outburst from him.  Well, let’s just say the day went downhill from there.  He did get himself together mid afternoon after floating in the pool for a bit.  And thank the sweet lord, because I was gonna put a hurtin’ on him!  Haha.

But you all know what I mean right?  Sometimes you just don’t want to hear their mouths, with all the other commotion going on in the house.  And give me a break, did he really look at me and say these words…

“You don’t understand.  Do you know what they are like?” 

No dipshit, I have no freakin’ idea!!!!!!!  Please!

The Big Guy picks up the ringing phone…

“Mr J, this is the school nurse. I have K, aka The Boss, here in the office”

The Big Guy is rolling his eyes, “Is she okay?”

“Yes, she had a substitute teacher today and she sent her to my office because she was itchy”

“Does she have a rash?”

“No, she informed her sub teacher that she has mites”

Hahahahahah,heeheehehhehehehehehheeeeeeeeeee! (you get my drift)

“She said that her daddy told her that the itchies are mites that are under her skin”

At this point The Big Guy passes me the phone. I explain that when we go to the beach the sand fleas bother her, and her daddy has always called them mites. I proceeded to explain that we usually just give her Benedryl and lotion and that she is a bit overdramatic. “We don’t have mites, mange, scabies or any other willies. Her skin is dry from the chlorine and sun”.

Thank goodness the nurese has a sense of humor and knows me all too well. I swear that child visits the nurse every week. “I sent her back to class and told the sub that she just has dry skin”.

So, I can see it now. Monday will come and the school will get 3 phonecalls from parents insisting that someone had mites in school and the classroom has to be fumigated. Oh well, she could have picked other things to share with her sub that she has heard from daddy at home…. haha! I guess bugs under the skin isn’t that bad.

I have a question for all you out there? When do you have your, err… “together time”. I mean, seriously. I am so flippin tired after getting the kids to bed, ready for the next day, finishing work on the computer and wrapping up anything else that I need to that I am hardly in the bow chicka bow bow mood. I try, I want to, believe me I think about it, but my body just doesn’t get in that horizontal hokie pokie position. Ugh!!!

Now, I have taken this poll at work, at preschool pick up and on the phone with many of my friends, yeah, they know I am crazy, and I have gotten some funny responses. I have frequented the meet me in the closet or bathroom while the kids are watching a movie downstairs, like so many others that I have spoken to, but I have never done the AM sexy time. Come on people, when the hell do you get up?

Cripe, we are already up at the butt crack of dawn! And how can you be all “love me long time” when the kids will be scooting down the hall any second, not to mention your funky ass breath, boogies in the eyes and puffy ass face. Just not for me.

So…. when am I suppose to get it on? I lovvveeee The Big Guy to death, think he is the most handsome, sexy eyed man in the world. Not to mention my love for his junk in the trunk and…. “focus Kendra”, but I am having issues with getting my body in motion. I think about it during the day, visualize it, wish he could come home at lunch then 10 PM hits and goodnight sweetheart.

I am looking for guidance from you sexy, queen of the hot and steamy, va va voom ladies out there. What to do? When to do it? LOL!

Why do some women like to pull each other down instead of lifting each other up? I am one of those people that tries to understand everyone, even if they offer the most extreme opinions and lifestyles from my own, I am open to their thoughts and ways. I may not agree and I may offer my 2 cents when it is not welcome occasionaly, but I do make an effort. I guess some women just don’t have that in them, that nice gene.

So I was at Poopy Paradise last night, the ol’ nightshift, 7PM till 7AM. The night was pretty good, I worked with nurses I don’t usually see on a regular basis. The weekend option crew, but good patients, some real sickies that kept me on my toes and made me use my noggin.

But come the shit on! What is up with bitchiness?

I felt like the biggest, ignorant, non competent, horrible mommy on earth. According to the rest of my fellow nurses, my mothering style must be jack shit. My kids know the words vagina and penis, and my kids know that a baby comes out the ol’ shoot, and they listen to music, and they watch television, and they see me naked, and the know what a four letter word sounds like, and they have seen me cry, and they have seen me rant and scream, but they have also seen me seen me love them to death for how ever long they have been here with us, and kiss them constantly, and tell them I love you all day long, and play with them, and read to them, and do anything and everything to make them as happy as possible. So does that make me a crappy ass mommy? Hmm, I don’t think so!

But according to the population of nurses I worked with last night, I am just too open, honest, and forthcoming with my kids. I am making them grow up too fast and allowing them to “know” too much! Yeah, guess what? My girls will be just fine. The Big Guy and I give love 24 hours a day and may not be perfect, but do the best we can. The only thing that matters to us on a consistent basis is the happiness, joy and health of our 3 girls.

So, when I think about it, I guess we are guilty of talking about our girls too much, and spending too much time with our family, and providing too many happy memories, and providing too many toys and books, and ultimately loving them way too much. How dare we do that to these little girls? The nerve of us.

Bottom line, ya’all who like to judge and piss on others parades, be gone! I don’t have time to defend my parenting styles and explain my house and how it runs, and I don’t have time to smile while you share your unwanted stupid ass opinions! I know, I am a little harsh, but the more I think about it, the more fired up I get, and I will not let that happen on this fine Sunday afternoon.

If everyone would be tolerant of others differences and appreciate what they have in their own lives, instead of making themselves better by pointing out differences, we would all be better off. I listen to pretty much anything anyone has to say, I may not agree, but they could offer something for me to take and put to use in my own life.

I am just as guilty of the next women of being opinionated, but I do try to understand differences and see where everyone may be coming from. After all, we are all different, are wired different, and have weathered differences in our lives, but we all want one common thing, what is best for our kids!