Gaga For Lulu

Wow, am I in a shitty mood today. I do not even like myself this afternoon. The kids have been really rotten for the last few days, I haven’t been sleeping at night, my joints are aching like I am 80 years old, there is absolutely no sex what so ever going on in our house, I am feeling overwhelmed with juggling 100 duties, I am bloated and the ol’ taters are a size bigger than usual. Come the hell on, my boobs should not have to feel like this, along with the “fake” bloating feeling in my belly area, after a total hysterectomy. Seriously people!

Ugh!!! Not to mention my stupid ass blood sugars are all f’ed up. No one seems to care about that one but me. The Dr’s will fit me in. Yeah, in a month. After I have a big fat heart attack and develop crazy ass complications from uncontrolled sugars. But so be it. I could hardly drive home from Target this afternoon when my blood sugar was…. 459. Shit, shit shit!

It just makes you feel crappy and stupid. I know too much, but can’t fix the problem. I obviously need some new medication. For my diabetes, not my head. Although if you ask The Big Guy right now he will tell you I need that too. He has taken the girls outside to play on the play-set while he fiddles with the pool, because apparently men get to do whatever the shit they want, whenever they want to do it. Uh huh, like come home and take the ever so famous 30 minute crap, then go outside and ponder the pool water, then play with the dogs, then watch tv, then play around on the computer, then take another 30 minute shit, then lay there and snore so loud that I can’t sleep. I told you I was in a bad mood.

But he is outside because, “he doesn’t want to be anywhere near me right now”. Which by the way, makes me feel so loved. He doesn’t understand that I am scared to death about my diabetes and the fact that now I am facing the ol’ insulin, so damn scary, and that I feel like shit and overwhelmed about all that I have going on, not that I hate it. I love all of it, but it is just busy right now. And he said he would help more, and guess what? He isn’t.

I feel a little better now after ranting. Oh boy, what a day! For any of you that made it this far in my over the top bitching and moaning, thanks. At least I got it out of my system. By the way, I even cried the whole time writing so I feel refreshed and able to take some more shit. Yee ha, bring it on baby! Haha :).

A very Happy Mother’s Day to ya’all! I hope that each and every one of you are enjoying this big ol’ hallmark holiday, haha. No really, I wish you an enjoyable day. My lil’ Tribe just got back with some new sporty pajamas and perty smelling candles, and very wonderful cards, I’m a sucker for cards. That is of course after my lovely hubby let me sleep till….. 9AM. I love The Big Guy, he is great sometimes, keyword sometimes. LOL!

Have a good one!!!

Do you ever feel like you blink and it is freakin’ Friday again? Seriously? Where the hell does the week go? Ugh, I just want to catch my breath. Okay, I will stop my bitching, I feel better already just having said that!

Once again, I feel as if I have been a no good blogger. I have definitely lost my mojo for Gaga this week and my zest for surfing around all my fave blogs. You know who you are! I have been an absent presence over the last week.

But not to worry. You were not just another notch on my keyboard, haha. I miss all that is going on in your crazy lives and am going to make time this weekend to catch up. You know it’s bad when The Big Guy knows more about the happenings of my fellow bloggers lives than I do.

Yeah, he loves reading your thoughts. It is a secret though, just between you and me, hee hee!

I am starting to get this whole b5 media Channel Editor thing down and have found my groove with my new A Hearty Life Blog. And I never have trouble writing about diabetes on Diabetes Notes. After all, I could always just reflect on myself, and don’t all women love to talk about themselves?

So, bottom line, I can now spend some time focusing on Gaga again and all your wonderful stories, gripes, bitches and tales. After all, ya’all make me feel normalcy and a sense of belonging. And isn’t that what blogging is about anyway? A passion with community!

So, you wanna know how old I am? Let’s just say that on Saturday night, while at the beach with my 2 good friends from college, we hunted down a Denny’s in the pouring down rain to chow down on some freakin’ pancakes! Uh huh, thats right! Cinco de Mayo and we were living it up with all the 80 and over crowd in OC, Maryland. But damn, were those pancakes good.

The weekend was soooo nice though. I got to hang out with 2 great friends and eat, eat, eat all the relaxing weekend long. Saturday was sunny and 75, perfect for reading and catching some sun on the sandy beach. Just the sound of the waves make you relax immediately.

We had a blast watching all the youngins’, that used to be us, frolic on the beach with each other. I am so glad I don’t have to push out the ol’ taters, suck in the gut and swish the ol’ junk in the trunk anymore. Nope none of that, but we did have a contest to see who’s stretch marks were the worst and who’s belly skin would hang down the farthest when bent over. Yeah, we are so HOT!

In our defense, we did have drinks at lunch and on Saturday afternoon, along with our Candy Kitchen purchase and Combos. Yummmmm! Then of course the whole Denny’s experience. That was the 3rd place we stopped to find our beloved round, buttery, sweet, lil’ pieces of heaven. And of course, Willy had her Razzzaaadanngoooo! (That would be Sprite, mango and raspberry juice)

And we were asleep by…..10:30. Molls snored all night, but I guess I will forgive her. She does have a 2 month old and is very sleep deprived! And we wrapped up the weekend with more food and shopping at the outlets. Very relaxing. It was a nice early Mother’s Day gift.

I must say we are married to some good men! They took care of 7 kids between the 3 of them and didn’t bother us 1 time with any complaints, questions or any others. They just said, “have a good time, enjoy yourselves, I love you and the kids are fine”. Not every man would do that. I know, I totally appreciate The Big Guy for being an awesome daddy and very giving hubby!

And he is kinda cute to top it off. Uh oh, I hear some bow chicka bow bow music playing in my crazy ass head. Oh hell, I am so easily swayed, how pitiful! LOL.

Well ya’all, I am off to the beach for the weekend. Just me and my friend. I have known her for 13 years, lived with her in college. She played LAX also. She has 2 little ones and is just as super syked as I to get out of here for a few days.
That’s right! No kids or hubby. While I will miss them dearly, I am looking forward to some me time, doesn’t happen all the time, you know?

The Big Guy will hold down the homefront. Believe me, he can totally handle it. Being married to a nurse, he is used to the all nighters by himself and plenty of weekends on his own. And the girls are all in to him right now. Mommy who? “Daddeee rocks!!” At least thats what they say.

Wish him luck and me some good ol’ fashioned quiet time. Yee ha! Sand and sun, here I come.

Don’t worry, I packed the SPF 45 for my pasty white ass. Yeah, I’m just plain out scary lookin’ right now. LOL!

Let me break it down for you, 4:23 AM, in our little corner of the world…

“What in the shit is that noise?”

“That would be your f’in’ bird sanctuary!”

“Huh, oh for the love of…”

“Um huh, sanctuary at Devonshire (our street name)”

“Why the hell are the birds up at this hour, damn, do they all live outside our house?”

“Yeah, you dimwit, you and your 800 freakin’ bird feeders, who do you think you are?”

Hahahahahahaha, heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee, yeah, I am the culprit. We made 20, or so, bird feeders on Saturday afternoon. You know, the pine cone, peanut butter and bird seed ones. By the way, they are messy as shit to make, but The Tribe loved the project. We also put a feeder up in the big ol’ tree in our front yard. It has actually been pretty cool to watch the birds eat, we have seen some pretty ones, but I forgot that they wake early. Sorry Big Guy, and neighbors! LOL.

As I mentioned in my last post I have decided to make some more changes in my life. You all know that I work part time, just 12 hours a week, as a nurse, babysit my nephews 2 or 3 days a week, part time professionally blog for b5media on Diabetes Notes, and of course write my little heart out at Gaga, but I have decided to take on another blog.

I am going to be writing for A Hearty Life, part of b5media. I am very excited. I have been a cardiac nurse for the last 8 years, so I have a passion for cardiac research, resources and everyday findings. Now I get to write about it, yee ha!!! I know, what a dork, right? Oh well, if he shoe fits…

And even bigger yet, I am going to be the CE, Science and Health Channel editor for b5media. So damn excited about that one!!!! Over the last 2 months I have come to know my CE, Hsien-Hsien Lei, a PhD none the less, and she is such a cool person. She has that personality that is go out and get er’ done, take no prisoners, I know what I want, self assured and has the shit to back it up. Ahh, a perfect match for me, LOL!

But seriously, she has done such a great job over the past year and a half at b5media, but it is time for her to get back to her passion, science and genetics. She will be writing at Eye on DNA and hasn’t made any definites on what is to follow. One thing is for sure, she will be missed and I have some pretty big damn shoes to fill. Gidde’ up, I am ready to ride!

So there you have it. I am nervous, anxious and overly excited about what lies ahead. Channel me some of your get it goin’ on girl energies.

And in the words of Veronica Corningstone, “I will have you know that I have more talent, and more intelligence in my little finger than you do in your entire body, sir. You look like a blueberry. Well, you have bad hair. I said, your…hair…looks…stupid!”

Side note: The Boss lost another tooth, isn’t she flippin’ adorable?

Do you think I suffer from that fatigue syndrome? I swear, I am always freakin’ tired. Yawn, yawn, yawn. Maybe I have a neurological problem or something? I seriously have to drag my big ol’ ass out of bed every morning. Gone are the days of popping up before the alarm and a chipper, “good morning ya’all”. Nope, it is all, “shit, I am soooo tired, can you hit the snooze button, why don’t I sleep at night, good god ya’all”.

Let’s explore the reasons that could possibly be behind the whole tired as shit thing:

1. There is something gravely wrong with me! (Unlikely but possible)

2. The Babe does not sleep, EVER. She gets up 2 or 3 times a night and for the last month or so has ended up in our bed, taking up more than her fair share of room. (Might be getting closer!)

3. The Big Guy snores repeatedly and VERY loudly every flippin’ night of his life. Every hour or so I am awoken thinking that my hubby is some sort of machinery that is powered and ready to go, yeah but we all know that is some sort of dream, could it be, no, shit it is just him and he is so not “ready” to go, damn it! Honestly, it is so loud. I have even held his nose before and had visions of the pillow over his face, hahaha! (Could be a reason)

4. I am hyper active and have trouble turning my brain off. (Uh huh)

5. All of the above plus The Boss and M3 getting up with bad dreams and necessary, so they say, bathroom breaks and water breaks. What the hell are they doing that they need to be rehydrate at 3 in the morning? (I think we have found it)

So there you have it. I think that all of the above combined makes for a pretty tired mama. Plus the whole, full time mommy, part time nurse, part time blogger, professional blogger, new responsibilities that come along with the before mentioned that I can not share yet, and all the other wonderful duties that you all can understand and validate for me. LOl!

I know that all ya’all, yeah I said it, hee hee, can relate to the tired thing and that I am soooo not alone! Thank goodness I know so many that will break it down real deal style and not make me feel like a failure or just a tired bitch that needs to shut on up.

On with our day, we are going to finish getting our veggie garden in check, we made it bigger this year. Apparently The Big Guy has some notion that we are going to “live of the land”. He is channeling his roots, they were farmers, though not very good ones. My roots are go to the damn store and buy what the hell you need but I like a fresh salad and The Tribe enjoys watching it all grow, so I play along.

I got some pretty cool stuff going on this week. I can’t share it as of yet, but after Tuesday I will blab, blab, blab like I know how to do! LOL.

I have been begging The Big Guy to do a guest post for me, his take on our wonderful life, but he just laughs. I will keep on him, hee hee, no really, though. He is funny as shit!

In the words of Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, “Aaahhhhhhhh, come to me my jungle friends!!!!”

There are so many things floating around in my crazy ass head right now. I worked today in good ol’ poopy paradise and had a shitin’ good time. Good fellow health care professionals working alongside me and we even got free grub from Boston Market at lunchtime. We had an in-service and in order to get our hyper, OCD, goofy big asses to sit down, they have to offer free food.

I think it is safe to say that nurses have a distinct personality, at least for the most part. There are some boring biatches that I work with, but for the most part we all get along very well. Even our Greg Fockers are flippin’ funny and bring humor to the day.

Where else on earth can you be in shit up to your elbows, have shit smeared on the walls, blood splattered on your shoes, mucous in eye level suction containers 2 inches from your head, see 32 penis’ and 20 vagina’s, hell even say the word vagina out loud without a double take from anyone around, put a tube up those same body parts, put a tube up the nose into the belly, tie down a crazy ass confused person, get kicked and called a bitch, do CPR and push medicines to save a life and hold someones hand while they die all in the same day? Ahh, nursing. I love it!!

That is why I say the personality thing. You have to deal with some serious shit, laugh 50% of the time, be comfortable with being oushy and assertive and have empathy and sincerity. But you know what, we have a good time. Even among all the chaos of running around and being overworked and understaffed, we like what we do. It makes the time pass.

Hell, half way through the day we talked about sex, sagging body parts, lack of sex drive, depression medications and penis girth, yeah I said it, when we had a few minutes to kill. I bet a lot of you don’t conversate on those topics at work! LOL.

Oh boy, what a day. I was also reminded about the importance of family and quality of life. I helped a family decide to make thier family member a palliative, hospice patient. Why is it that doctors can’t say the word death but we can march right in the room, hold the family members hand and say, “Your mom is dying, lets do what she would want and make her comfortable. Give her that final gift”.

Anyway, the family was great and it just reminded me how much I love my family and how important it is to live one day at a time. If this isn’t the pot calling the kettle black, huh, but fortunately for me I have these very real situations to remind me of all this and help keep it “real”.

So yeah, now I am going to kiss my girls on their foreheads and whisper mommy loves you” in their sleeping ears and then go kiss and hug my hubby. I am going to tell The Big Guy how much I love him and that I think he is a great daddy, hubby and best friend. Cause guess what? We only get one time around and you better make it good!

I might even give him some good lovin’, wink, wink, if you know what I mean! LOL. Why does it always come back to the ol’ who-ha?

One final statement: In the words of Jim Halpert, “Bears beats battlestar gallatica”!!!!! Looooovvvvveee The Office!

Anyone out there have any romance going on right now? If you do, screw you! Haha. Yeah, it is about gone right now up in our neck of the woods. I think it is part tiredness, part laziness and a huge part Effexor. I have NO sex drive. I look at The Big Guy and think, hells yeah, but when it comes time to put the plan in motion I am like, “You want to play the massage game? I will do your feet, if you do mine”.

Which means we are relying solely on his sex drive! Well shit, hmmm, let me say it is less than stellar these days. “Do you wanna snuggle?” No you freak! I wanna do it! And I want to do it now, now come the hell on and get this party started. That would be what my brain is saying. My body is still laying there in the don’t even think about touching me position.

Can we please seal the deal? For the love of god, grant me some sex drive. Gimme that steamy, hot for you, you are so fine, I am going to ravish your body and take no prisoners kind of feeling that I long for! Ugh….come on Big Guy, take note and start your engines.

I am gonna buy him some Ginseng or something. Maybe some Red Bull! Maybe I will slip a little somepin’ in his drink. Well, I won’t go that far, but you get my drift.

If The Babe would go to bed and stay in her bed it would probably help. If we didn’t get up at the ass crack of dawn, didn’t have a tv in the bedroom and dumped our laptop it would probably help matters too. Oh, the joys of being 30 something with 3 little ones and zero sex drive. I’m stumped! LOL!

I haven’t bitched about The Big Guy for quite some time now. He has been more than “good”. I think as he gets older he settles more and more into the routine of our life as we know it. BUT he pissed me off a short bit ago. Maybe it is me being tired, or moody, or fuzzy from f’ed up blood sugars or plain out a bitch, but I am pissed and offended.

Let me set it up for ya. Bedtime. Showers have been given, pajamas are on, 101 meds given to The Babe and it is time to simmer down and tuck in for the night. It is a bit early, but The Tribe is VERY tired since they woke at the ass crack of dawn this weekend and have been going a mile a minute in the very warm weather. I had to wake their little butts up this AM. Yeah, what a joke. This weekend they were dressed before 6 AM and today, “no mommy, I’m tired, can’t we sleep more”.

Anywho, getting back to this evening, I am trying to get everyone to calm down and understand that yes indeed I am serious, and it is time for bed. The Babe is screaming a pissin’ fit and The Boss and M3 are bouncing off their beds like they have springs attached to their asses! I am at my wits end. I didn’t work today but I did get 3 kids dressed, off to school, change bed sheets, fold laundry, pick up my mom and take her to physical therapy and Target, get The Boss off the bus, drop my mom off at home, make dinner while playing with my 3 and the neighbors kids on the swing set, clean up dinner, get showers done, lay out clothes for AM, fold more laundry. I managed to do most of this with no attitude and a smile on my face.

Well, guess what friends? That freakin’ smile is gone! I look in our bedroom and what do I see, The Big Guy laying across the bed watching the baseball game and playing around on the laptop. Oh hell no!!! I lost it a bit. “You know what, you son of a bitch, I haven’t sat down all day either, why don’t you go in and read Ali a story. Can you help me a little hear asshole!” Not very nice, but I felt better after saying it.

I know that he worked today and came home to a very hassled dinner table and kids all jacked up on sugar and some sort of solar power that for some reason just doesn’t penetrate anyone above the age of 21, but come the shit on. You know? When is my flippin’ break? When do I get to take a 45 minute shit? When do I get to take a piss without The Babe telling me my pubic hair is nasty? When do I get to lay across the bed before 9:30 PM and leisurely watch whatever the hell I want?

I know, I know, when I became a mom I gave all those rights up, but I can still bitch about it. I will just pretend in my crazy ass head that pissin’ and moaning will make a difference and poof, that The Big Guy won’t have to be told what to do at bedtime (after 6 years of being a daddy!).

I love him so much, but god damn is he a freakin’ jackass sometimes. It’s like he thinks with that cute ass of his! LOL….