Gaga For Lulu

Proud Mommy Moment, my eldest, The Boss is kicking some mean arse in the pool this season. Uh huh! She is doing great on her team and loving every moment of it. And she is now in the top 15 in the entire county, about 1000 swimmers overall, for her age group for both 25 Free and 25 Back. Her Breaststroke is coming along, she got DQ’ed last meet for a flutter kick after her entry, and she would have finished 6th overall, but you can’t win em’ all. Oh well, they are young and learn from their mistakes.

And then there is her Butterfly, how cute they are swimming down the pool with their little butts going up and down while they try to perfect their “Fly”. She won’t be swimming that one this season, just the other 3. And she insists she wants to do the Medley, but that will have to wait till next season as well.

And you know what? Swimming is a big commitment, and quite $$$. Practice every stinking morning of their lives and 2 meets a week. It is a hell of a lot for youngin’s, ya know? But she loves it and has said she wanted to be a swimmer since she was 2 years old. And then there is her sissies… They won’t be far behind.

So yeah, a proud parent moment indeed tonight! If only the 100 degree weather with 100% humidity wasn’t around. Ugh, all the parents were dripping with sweat, sweat rings around our pits, sticky and smelly, but smiling away! What a great group of kids and parents. So supportive of ALL the kids, it is a great lesson for the kids. A sense of team and belonging as well as involvement from the parents.

By the way, I have never seen The Big Guy look so proud as when he watches her down the lane, he is so damn cute! He loves his girls sooooo much!

I am headed for a breakdown. I can feel it coming. The tears are building up in my eyes, my anger is boiling over and I just want to hide beneath the covers.

The babe has had a fever all stinkn’ day and the only 2 hours she was good was when I had The Boss at swim practice and Mom Mom was sitting with her and M3. M3 has been under my skin all flippin day! She just topped it off by lying right to my very tired face! That really pisses me off.

The Babe is still screaming from an hour ago. OMG, my head is gonna pop. The Boss has just calmed down from a 2 hour melt down following swim over her goggles. And the cherry on top would be The Big Guy. Yeah, that ass!!!!

Apparently he is allowed to be a shit whenever he wants to. Yup, he can just have a bad week, not day, but week. you know because he is only in a golf tournament Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday! Um-huh. And if he wants to sit on the porch for a shitin’ hour than he can. Whatever! All the while, I am getting the kids settled and to bed. Fighting back my feelings and tiredness.

And by the way, maybe him not taking his G.D. medication on a regular basis has a little something to do with it. In my eyes it is irrisponsable and stupid! I have anxiety and deal with very mild depression, so I take the medication that allows me to live life to the fullest and be a better person.

The Big Guy who fights fairly moderate depression, and has for 10 years or so, NEVER takes his depression medication unless I hand it to him personally. Well guess what? I already have 3 kids to worry about, can’t have a 6′6″ 4th. Sorry!!

And if you know what you need to be a better hubby and daddy and have the resources to do it, why the hell don’t you? I know I am a bitchy ass mess right now, but I am so sick of dealing with this. I love him dearly and we have seen each other through some VERY tough times, but I just don’t have the energy to put into this tonight.

God forbid I would say the word medication to him right now, he would blow on that one.

And now I just realized that it is 9 PM and I haven’t eatin’ dinner and I am hungry as shit but I am so snotty from crying that I can’t eat. Well damn!

The Big Guy picks up the ringing phone…

“Mr J, this is the school nurse. I have K, aka The Boss, here in the office”

The Big Guy is rolling his eyes, “Is she okay?”

“Yes, she had a substitute teacher today and she sent her to my office because she was itchy”

“Does she have a rash?”

“No, she informed her sub teacher that she has mites”

Hahahahahah,heeheehehhehehehehehheeeeeeeeeee! (you get my drift)

“She said that her daddy told her that the itchies are mites that are under her skin”

At this point The Big Guy passes me the phone. I explain that when we go to the beach the sand fleas bother her, and her daddy has always called them mites. I proceeded to explain that we usually just give her Benedryl and lotion and that she is a bit overdramatic. “We don’t have mites, mange, scabies or any other willies. Her skin is dry from the chlorine and sun”.

Thank goodness the nurese has a sense of humor and knows me all too well. I swear that child visits the nurse every week. “I sent her back to class and told the sub that she just has dry skin”.

So, I can see it now. Monday will come and the school will get 3 phonecalls from parents insisting that someone had mites in school and the classroom has to be fumigated. Oh well, she could have picked other things to share with her sub that she has heard from daddy at home…. haha! I guess bugs under the skin isn’t that bad.

A very Happy Mother’s Day to ya’all! I hope that each and every one of you are enjoying this big ol’ hallmark holiday, haha. No really, I wish you an enjoyable day. My lil’ Tribe just got back with some new sporty pajamas and perty smelling candles, and very wonderful cards, I’m a sucker for cards. That is of course after my lovely hubby let me sleep till….. 9AM. I love The Big Guy, he is great sometimes, keyword sometimes. LOL!

Have a good one!!!

Quotes from my ever so loving, honest to the bone, snot nosed lil’ones, better known as The Tribe…

“The helper at school, helped me tie my dress. She is skinny and soooo pretty, not like you…you are chunky, kinda more fat than her.”

“Why aren’t you pretty like Aunt Jessa. I want to look like her when I grow up!”

“Did you used to be smart when you were younger?”

“Daddeee is sooooo much more funner than you, he lets us watch loud movies and eat pizza. You are, like, a little boring.”

“It’s soooo gross that we came out your ghina, it is so nasty and stuff.”

And finally, the big wiener today…

“I wish Mom Mom was our mommy!”

Oh, that last one got me right in the freakin’ gut. M3 was referring to my mother in law, little shit! You know how that goes though, she lets them do whatever the hell they want. I guess I would prefer total whatever the shit I want over rules too. But honestly, couldn’t she have picked someone else. Sweet mother of pearl!

Ugh, I can’t win! But my job is to make sure that those little brats learn to listen well, be respectful and have some type of morals and social graces.

Now, I must run because my youngest feminine angel is wrestling my eldest on the front lawn, screaming at the top of her lungs. Lil’ booger head!!!!

Let me break it down for you, 4:23 AM, in our little corner of the world…

“What in the shit is that noise?”

“That would be your f’in’ bird sanctuary!”

“Huh, oh for the love of…”

“Um huh, sanctuary at Devonshire (our street name)”

“Why the hell are the birds up at this hour, damn, do they all live outside our house?”

“Yeah, you dimwit, you and your 800 freakin’ bird feeders, who do you think you are?”

Hahahahahahaha, heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee, yeah, I am the culprit. We made 20, or so, bird feeders on Saturday afternoon. You know, the pine cone, peanut butter and bird seed ones. By the way, they are messy as shit to make, but The Tribe loved the project. We also put a feeder up in the big ol’ tree in our front yard. It has actually been pretty cool to watch the birds eat, we have seen some pretty ones, but I forgot that they wake early. Sorry Big Guy, and neighbors! LOL.

As I mentioned in my last post I have decided to make some more changes in my life. You all know that I work part time, just 12 hours a week, as a nurse, babysit my nephews 2 or 3 days a week, part time professionally blog for b5media on Diabetes Notes, and of course write my little heart out at Gaga, but I have decided to take on another blog.

I am going to be writing for A Hearty Life, part of b5media. I am very excited. I have been a cardiac nurse for the last 8 years, so I have a passion for cardiac research, resources and everyday findings. Now I get to write about it, yee ha!!! I know, what a dork, right? Oh well, if he shoe fits…

And even bigger yet, I am going to be the CE, Science and Health Channel editor for b5media. So damn excited about that one!!!! Over the last 2 months I have come to know my CE, Hsien-Hsien Lei, a PhD none the less, and she is such a cool person. She has that personality that is go out and get er’ done, take no prisoners, I know what I want, self assured and has the shit to back it up. Ahh, a perfect match for me, LOL!

But seriously, she has done such a great job over the past year and a half at b5media, but it is time for her to get back to her passion, science and genetics. She will be writing at Eye on DNA and hasn’t made any definites on what is to follow. One thing is for sure, she will be missed and I have some pretty big damn shoes to fill. Gidde’ up, I am ready to ride!

So there you have it. I am nervous, anxious and overly excited about what lies ahead. Channel me some of your get it goin’ on girl energies.

And in the words of Veronica Corningstone, “I will have you know that I have more talent, and more intelligence in my little finger than you do in your entire body, sir. You look like a blueberry. Well, you have bad hair. I said, your…hair…looks…stupid!”

Side note: The Boss lost another tooth, isn’t she flippin’ adorable?

Do you think I suffer from that fatigue syndrome? I swear, I am always freakin’ tired. Yawn, yawn, yawn. Maybe I have a neurological problem or something? I seriously have to drag my big ol’ ass out of bed every morning. Gone are the days of popping up before the alarm and a chipper, “good morning ya’all”. Nope, it is all, “shit, I am soooo tired, can you hit the snooze button, why don’t I sleep at night, good god ya’all”.

Let’s explore the reasons that could possibly be behind the whole tired as shit thing:

1. There is something gravely wrong with me! (Unlikely but possible)

2. The Babe does not sleep, EVER. She gets up 2 or 3 times a night and for the last month or so has ended up in our bed, taking up more than her fair share of room. (Might be getting closer!)

3. The Big Guy snores repeatedly and VERY loudly every flippin’ night of his life. Every hour or so I am awoken thinking that my hubby is some sort of machinery that is powered and ready to go, yeah but we all know that is some sort of dream, could it be, no, shit it is just him and he is so not “ready” to go, damn it! Honestly, it is so loud. I have even held his nose before and had visions of the pillow over his face, hahaha! (Could be a reason)

4. I am hyper active and have trouble turning my brain off. (Uh huh)

5. All of the above plus The Boss and M3 getting up with bad dreams and necessary, so they say, bathroom breaks and water breaks. What the hell are they doing that they need to be rehydrate at 3 in the morning? (I think we have found it)

So there you have it. I think that all of the above combined makes for a pretty tired mama. Plus the whole, full time mommy, part time nurse, part time blogger, professional blogger, new responsibilities that come along with the before mentioned that I can not share yet, and all the other wonderful duties that you all can understand and validate for me. LOl!

I know that all ya’all, yeah I said it, hee hee, can relate to the tired thing and that I am soooo not alone! Thank goodness I know so many that will break it down real deal style and not make me feel like a failure or just a tired bitch that needs to shut on up.

On with our day, we are going to finish getting our veggie garden in check, we made it bigger this year. Apparently The Big Guy has some notion that we are going to “live of the land”. He is channeling his roots, they were farmers, though not very good ones. My roots are go to the damn store and buy what the hell you need but I like a fresh salad and The Tribe enjoys watching it all grow, so I play along.

I got some pretty cool stuff going on this week. I can’t share it as of yet, but after Tuesday I will blab, blab, blab like I know how to do! LOL.

I have been begging The Big Guy to do a guest post for me, his take on our wonderful life, but he just laughs. I will keep on him, hee hee, no really, though. He is funny as shit!

In the words of Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, “Aaahhhhhhhh, come to me my jungle friends!!!!”

I haven’t bitched about The Big Guy for quite some time now. He has been more than “good”. I think as he gets older he settles more and more into the routine of our life as we know it. BUT he pissed me off a short bit ago. Maybe it is me being tired, or moody, or fuzzy from f’ed up blood sugars or plain out a bitch, but I am pissed and offended.

Let me set it up for ya. Bedtime. Showers have been given, pajamas are on, 101 meds given to The Babe and it is time to simmer down and tuck in for the night. It is a bit early, but The Tribe is VERY tired since they woke at the ass crack of dawn this weekend and have been going a mile a minute in the very warm weather. I had to wake their little butts up this AM. Yeah, what a joke. This weekend they were dressed before 6 AM and today, “no mommy, I’m tired, can’t we sleep more”.

Anywho, getting back to this evening, I am trying to get everyone to calm down and understand that yes indeed I am serious, and it is time for bed. The Babe is screaming a pissin’ fit and The Boss and M3 are bouncing off their beds like they have springs attached to their asses! I am at my wits end. I didn’t work today but I did get 3 kids dressed, off to school, change bed sheets, fold laundry, pick up my mom and take her to physical therapy and Target, get The Boss off the bus, drop my mom off at home, make dinner while playing with my 3 and the neighbors kids on the swing set, clean up dinner, get showers done, lay out clothes for AM, fold more laundry. I managed to do most of this with no attitude and a smile on my face.

Well, guess what friends? That freakin’ smile is gone! I look in our bedroom and what do I see, The Big Guy laying across the bed watching the baseball game and playing around on the laptop. Oh hell no!!! I lost it a bit. “You know what, you son of a bitch, I haven’t sat down all day either, why don’t you go in and read Ali a story. Can you help me a little hear asshole!” Not very nice, but I felt better after saying it.

I know that he worked today and came home to a very hassled dinner table and kids all jacked up on sugar and some sort of solar power that for some reason just doesn’t penetrate anyone above the age of 21, but come the shit on. You know? When is my flippin’ break? When do I get to take a 45 minute shit? When do I get to take a piss without The Babe telling me my pubic hair is nasty? When do I get to lay across the bed before 9:30 PM and leisurely watch whatever the hell I want?

I know, I know, when I became a mom I gave all those rights up, but I can still bitch about it. I will just pretend in my crazy ass head that pissin’ and moaning will make a difference and poof, that The Big Guy won’t have to be told what to do at bedtime (after 6 years of being a daddy!).

I love him so much, but god damn is he a freakin’ jackass sometimes. It’s like he thinks with that cute ass of his! LOL….

“Birfdee party in the park, yeeeah. We have a parrrtyyy!” goes The Babe.

Earth Day in the park would be what she was talking about. It was gorgeous out, 80 degrees and sunny! My sis and her two boys came with us. The Big Guy even went along for the flippin’ ride! To be honest, he only came because he was worried about me and my blood sugar shit that is going on.

Yeah, that blood sugar thing sucks my big ol’ butt. Up in the 300’s, then low in the 50’s. I feel like shat to be truthful. My body is tired and I have a constant headache. My stomach doesn’t know which way to go, out the mouth or out the butt. Unfortunately neither one is happening which just leads to an upset belly all god darn day.

Oh well, no good worrying about it, it won’t change a freakin’ thing. Hopefully lab results will be conclusive. Knowing my luck, they won’t and I will have to be poked and prodded. Oh hell!

The good thing it is the weekend so The Big Guy is here with me all day. It is funny how safe I feel with him. Not that he knows anything about diabetes or health related issues but I know he will take care of me. He has so many times before! Knee surgeries, eclamptic pregnancies, hemorrhaging, hysterectomies, blood transfusions, back surgery, and all kinds of other breakdowns. God bless that man. Not that I haven’t weathered some bull shit with him but that is a whole nother story. LOL!

My goal for the next day is to keep my blood sugar between 90 and 200. Isn’t it a load of shit that there has to be that much effort put into food and crap??? Gimme a break, but it could be worse. I don’t have to use insulin and I don’t need a pump and I am not going through chemotherapy and I don’t need dialysis and I don’t have lupus and……. So yes, I am complaining whoa is me but I realize it is not the end of the world. Just a little scary right now.

Over the lunch table…

M3: “How do we get babies in our belly?”

Mommy: OMG, “What do you mean?”

M3: “When we are grown up and want babies, how are they put in there?”

The Babe: Pointing to her belly, “Grow in your belly, naaassstty!”

Mommy: Blank stare and disbelief, “Well, when you get bigger and ….

M3: “I mean, when daddy loved you and you wanted K, how did his love make a baby grow?”

Mommy: Smiling at her pureness and seriousness, “Daddy and Mommy loved each other very much, so we were able to create a baby inside my belly to love for always, that was Kaelyn, you and then Ali.”

The Babe: Smiling at me and putting her arms out for a hug, “I looovvee you my mommy and my daaaaaaddddeee too!”

Mommy: Thinking I escaped, “So when you get to be older and find someone that you love like…”

M3: “Duh, I know that mommy, but what inside of you catches daddies love and forms a baby? Is it there from when we are little and grows later when we are big?”

Mommy: Oh, how I wish The Big Guy was here, “Mommies have eggs inside us that grow when we fall in love, like I did with daddy, and they grow bigger to become a baby. The eggs are so little you can’t see them and they are there our whole lives till we find that special love, like your daddy! That is when they are allowed to grow into a pretty little girl, like you and your sisters, or a boy like your cousins.”

M3: Looking at me like she wants to ask more, “Oh, that is good, my eggs will fall in love one day and make babies too. Hear that Ali, you have eggs that will be a baby!”

The Babe: Making a funny face, “Nassstttyyy!”

Isn’t parenting fun? Where the hell is the guide for this shit? Let me know how you think I did with my answers. Be kind, remember, my blood sugar is all out of wack. LOL!!!!