I am headed for a breakdown. I can feel it coming. The tears are building up in my eyes, my anger is boiling over and I just want to hide beneath the covers.

The babe has had a fever all stinkn’ day and the only 2 hours she was good was when I had The Boss at swim practice and Mom Mom was sitting with her and M3. M3 has been under my skin all flippin day! She just topped it off by lying right to my very tired face! That really pisses me off.

The Babe is still screaming from an hour ago. OMG, my head is gonna pop. The Boss has just calmed down from a 2 hour melt down following swim over her goggles. And the cherry on top would be The Big Guy. Yeah, that ass!!!!

Apparently he is allowed to be a shit whenever he wants to. Yup, he can just have a bad week, not day, but week. you know because he is only in a golf tournament Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday! Um-huh. And if he wants to sit on the porch for a shitin’ hour than he can. Whatever! All the while, I am getting the kids settled and to bed. Fighting back my feelings and tiredness.

And by the way, maybe him not taking his G.D. medication on a regular basis has a little something to do with it. In my eyes it is irrisponsable and stupid! I have anxiety and deal with very mild depression, so I take the medication that allows me to live life to the fullest and be a better person.

The Big Guy who fights fairly moderate depression, and has for 10 years or so, NEVER takes his depression medication unless I hand it to him personally. Well guess what? I already have 3 kids to worry about, can’t have a 6′6″ 4th. Sorry!!

And if you know what you need to be a better hubby and daddy and have the resources to do it, why the hell don’t you? I know I am a bitchy ass mess right now, but I am so sick of dealing with this. I love him dearly and we have seen each other through some VERY tough times, but I just don’t have the energy to put into this tonight.

God forbid I would say the word medication to him right now, he would blow on that one.

And now I just realized that it is 9 PM and I haven’t eatin’ dinner and I am hungry as shit but I am so snotty from crying that I can’t eat. Well damn!

You know when your significant other just annoys the living bigeezies out of you?  Uh huh.  That was me yesterday.  The Big Guy was in rare form, I mean really ripe.  I had a 5K yesterday AM, which  guess pissed him off or something.  Because when I came home, OMG, was he an ass!

Screaming and yelling and carrying on.  The kids couldn’t even speak without an outburst from him.  Well, let’s just say the day went downhill from there.  He did get himself together mid afternoon after floating in the pool for a bit.  And thank the sweet lord, because I was gonna put a hurtin’ on him!  Haha.

But you all know what I mean right?  Sometimes you just don’t want to hear their mouths, with all the other commotion going on in the house.  And give me a break, did he really look at me and say these words…

“You don’t understand.  Do you know what they are like?” 

No dipshit, I have no freakin’ idea!!!!!!!  Please!

It is suppose to be triple digits here today! That’s right, 100 degrees. Is it August already? Muggy ass Maryland. It is usually in the upper 80’s-mid 90’s through July. Then it gets up there in August, but boy is it hot and humid. My sunglasses are steamin’ up!

Thank the sweet lord for the pool! And doesn’t it figure, this comes right on the heals of that whole energy increase. Oh hell, what great timing. I would like to say though that our thermastat is set at 80 degrees and with the ceilng fans, it is quite comfy in here. This afternoon will be I different story I am sure, but that is when we will utilize the water hole in our backyard.

And a little side note, I am going to interviewed by a local radio station about the whole BGE, energy bull crap and professionally blogging. It was suppose to be last night, then this AM, and now it is Monday AM. At least I can clean this weekend, or shove all my junk in the closets! Haha, :p.

So yeah, watch out! My nasally, Baltimore accented, cold having, mucous queen of a voice will be on the airwaves. Beware all and don’t say I didn’t warn you. Ok, now I must go face the heat. Joy!!!!

I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but today while at Target with 2 of my girls and my 2 nephews I received several compliments…

“Do you see them? Look at how well behaved they are!”

“You must be quite the mommy, they are all so well behaved.”

“They are so beautiful, they all look just like you.”- That one made me giggle

“You handle those kids so well. You have such a nice, calm demeanor with them.”

That’s right. I was feeling pretty damn good about my mad mommying skillz. I was basking in the glory until I went to get myself a soda at the eatery area before we left the store….

All hell broke lose. I look over and M3 is playing with the fountain drink dispenser. The Babe is screaming, I mean screaming at the top of her lungs, “my poppppcooorrrnnnn”. And my 2 nephews were pushing each other, kicking each other to the point of tears, and screaming about candy. The moment was lost.

I am not that super duper mommy extraordinaire that I was thinking I was. Now people were shaking their heads. Oh, how fast my bubble was popped. Well shit!!!

Why are some women just plain out shitty? Do they have to look at me like I am a gruesome, nasty ass ogre or something? Seriously, one day I am going to walk right on up to them and say, “Do I have a booger or something I don’t know about. Is my nipple hanging out? Or do you always look like you are smelling shit?”

What do you think they would do?

Honestly, at swim practice, which is every night by the way so I am familiar looking to these caddy ass mom’s, there are a couple of women that look you up and down with this look of utter disgust on their faces. Of course, I am obnoxious and smile back even bigger and make sure I say hi, but I would like to round up a bunch of us ogre moms and kick some mean ass! Want to join me?

The Big Guy picks up the ringing phone…

“Mr J, this is the school nurse. I have K, aka The Boss, here in the office”

The Big Guy is rolling his eyes, “Is she okay?”

“Yes, she had a substitute teacher today and she sent her to my office because she was itchy”

“Does she have a rash?”

“No, she informed her sub teacher that she has mites”

Hahahahahah,heeheehehhehehehehehheeeeeeeeeee! (you get my drift)

“She said that her daddy told her that the itchies are mites that are under her skin”

At this point The Big Guy passes me the phone. I explain that when we go to the beach the sand fleas bother her, and her daddy has always called them mites. I proceeded to explain that we usually just give her Benedryl and lotion and that she is a bit overdramatic. “We don’t have mites, mange, scabies or any other willies. Her skin is dry from the chlorine and sun”.

Thank goodness the nurese has a sense of humor and knows me all too well. I swear that child visits the nurse every week. “I sent her back to class and told the sub that she just has dry skin”.

So, I can see it now. Monday will come and the school will get 3 phonecalls from parents insisting that someone had mites in school and the classroom has to be fumigated. Oh well, she could have picked other things to share with her sub that she has heard from daddy at home…. haha! I guess bugs under the skin isn’t that bad.

We are back from the beach in a wirl wind! We got back on Wednesday evening just in time for the Boss’ swim team’s practice and to unload 3 suitcases and umpteen toys. Of course, the pool was finally ready in our own backyard, only $500 in chemicals, but that is another story, so The Tribe had to take a dip. Bedtime came and went and the alarm went of at a very early 5 AM. I headed to poopy paradise for my weekly fun.

So, now itis Friday AM and M3 graduates from preschool. I am sitting here thinking about the gift I have to go get the teacher by 9 AM and the 24 cupcakes I need to obviously purchase at this time, I am such good planner, LOL! Then we have her birthday party tomorrow, she is finally 5! I forgot to order a cake, so I will be attempting to make a jungle theme cake for the bouncie party that I am sure will be rained out by the horrible storms we are suppose to get tomorrow afternoon since it is a smoldering 95 degrees on June 1st. You gotta love Maryland!

There’s my life in a nutshell. I am such a procastinator sometimes. Hopefully The Tribe didn’t inheret that gene from me, altough The Big Guy isn’t much better, haha. I hope everyone has a great Friday!

Well it’s been a while. We have been at the beach since Friday. The weather rocks and my diddy doo, aka M3, aka Sydney Claire is 5! Her birthday was Sunday and we celebrated in style.

She picked Outback for dinner and Maggie Moo’s for desert. OMG, it was too freakin’ good. Then we went shopping at the outlets, which is always so flippin’ fun.

Yeah, The Babe had to visit the bathroom 5 times and screamed about her ‘ghina’ itching, sand in the ol’ crack. The Boss and M3 took each other down in the middle of The Children’s Place over a sparkly headband and The Big Guy was shopping away oblivious to the situations at hand, but he was happy which is too ding dang cute. By the way, I am so in love with him. I am a lucky women!

So yup it has been a hell of a good time. The Big Guy has been smoking his cigars, which only happens once in a blue moon, and has left him mighty relaxed. That has provided me with some good lovin’! Haha, I’m naughty :p!

I will be back in full swing come Thursday. For now I must be forced to sit in the sun and frolic in the great Atlantic with the kids while getting loved on by the hot ass love of my life. Oh hell, life is sooo tough sometimes, hee hee.

I have to bitch about this one! I live in Maryland, which I absoltely love. 4 seasons… winter snow, spring delight, summers at the beach and falls hiking the trails among changing leaves. We live 2 miles from the Chesapeake Bay and 40 miles from the mountains. It really is the best of all worlds. But… the price of living around these parts is freakin’ crazy!

Come the hell on. How much do you pay for electric in your house every month? We have a little thing called BGE, Baltimore Gas and Electric. Oh… my… goodness. Now, I know it is not all their fault and they have to keep up with market rates, but help a sister out here. We are about to get another rate hike on June 1st, 50%. This is after the already existing 15%.

So, in order for my lil’ family to have power in our house we have to fork over approximately $500 a month. That is now, not after June 1st which will become $750 a month, before factoring in the pool. Call me crazy. Call me a complainer. Hell, call me whatever the hell you want, but that is a heck of a lot of money. Don’t even get me started on our city water and taxes going up 25%…

How are you suppose to keep up with that? It adds up, you know? I am just pissed because they just finalized the deal a day ago or so, and I will get over it with time and stop my belly aching, but good god ya’all. And you know what I remembered while writing this? There was a guy out there that did this whole, no more complaining thing and I think I signed his petition. Ugh…I am really not doing to well, am I? Oh well, you win some and you lose some! LOL.

I have a question for all you out there? When do you have your, err… “together time”. I mean, seriously. I am so flippin tired after getting the kids to bed, ready for the next day, finishing work on the computer and wrapping up anything else that I need to that I am hardly in the bow chicka bow bow mood. I try, I want to, believe me I think about it, but my body just doesn’t get in that horizontal hokie pokie position. Ugh!!!

Now, I have taken this poll at work, at preschool pick up and on the phone with many of my friends, yeah, they know I am crazy, and I have gotten some funny responses. I have frequented the meet me in the closet or bathroom while the kids are watching a movie downstairs, like so many others that I have spoken to, but I have never done the AM sexy time. Come on people, when the hell do you get up?

Cripe, we are already up at the butt crack of dawn! And how can you be all “love me long time” when the kids will be scooting down the hall any second, not to mention your funky ass breath, boogies in the eyes and puffy ass face. Just not for me.

So…. when am I suppose to get it on? I lovvveeee The Big Guy to death, think he is the most handsome, sexy eyed man in the world. Not to mention my love for his junk in the trunk and…. “focus Kendra”, but I am having issues with getting my body in motion. I think about it during the day, visualize it, wish he could come home at lunch then 10 PM hits and goodnight sweetheart.

I am looking for guidance from you sexy, queen of the hot and steamy, va va voom ladies out there. What to do? When to do it? LOL!